Your John Hancock please

It can be absorbing following the NCAA’s annual “March Madness” tournament, but it can be an arduous task, too.
How can they expect us to keep track of 64 teams (128 if you’re also following the women’s bracket)? To keep track of their stats and records? To keep track of the match-ups, and the close to 1,600 players who participate in the best tournament in sport?
But instead of looking at stats dealing with points per game, rebounds collected, blocks made, assist-to-turnover ratios, and trying to figure out who are the better players in the tournament based simply on performance, I decided to embark on a different kind of fact-finding mission.
A mission that didn’t revolve around a player’s stats, but rather their names.
So after a few hours spent combing over rosters (it is a prerequisite for sports journalists to have no life), here is a list of the most outstanding names in the 2005 NCAA tournament. We celebrate your uniqueness!
(P.S. Don’t forget to file this away for use in deciding future baby names).
< *c>Men’s division
< *c>First Team
•Gadi Buch (Dickinson Knights)
•Cletis Fobbs (Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin)
•Winsome Frazier (Mississippi State Bulldogs)
•JamesOn Curry (Oklahoma State Cowboys)
•Pops Mensa-Bonsu (George Washington Colonials)
< *c>Second Team
•Wen Mukubu (UAB Blazers)
•Obie Trotter (Alabama A&M Bulldogs)
•Sydmill Harris (Texas Longhorns)
•Cassiano Matheus (Utah State Aggies)
•Zane Potter (Washington Huskies)
< *c>Third Team
•J’son Stamper (Minnesota Golden Gophers)
•Stetson Hairston (Southern Illinois Salukis)
•Shagari Alleyne (Kentucky Wildcats)
•Mo Charlo (Nevada Wolf Pack)
•Kalenna Azubuike (Kentucky Wildcats)
< *c>Fourth Team
•Leemire Goldwire (Charlotte 49ers)
•John Tofi (UTEP Miners)
•Zam Fredrick (Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets)
•Pierre Marie Altidor-Cespedes (Gonzaga Bulldogs)
•Galen Gardenhire (Alabama A&M Bulldogs)
< *c>Fifth Team
•Xavier Whipple (LSU Tigers)
•Akini Adkins (Alabama Crimson Tide)
•Channing Frye (Arizona Wildcats)
•Rajon Rando (Kentucky Wildcats)
•Regis Koundjia (LSU Tigers)
< *c>Honourable mentions
•Kevin Pittsnogle (W. Virginia Mountaineers)
•Jahsha Bluntt (Delaware State Hornets)
•Hans Gagger (Washington Huskies)
•Tack Minor (LSU Tigers)
•Reda Rhalimi (St. Mary’s Gaels)
•Demario Eddins (UAB Blazers)
•Frans Steyn (Oklahoma Cowboys)
•Tamien Trent (Fairleigh Dickinson Knights)
•Tre Simmons (Washington Huskies)
•Taquan Dean (Louisville Cardinals)
•Ra’Sean Dickey (Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets)
•D’or Fischer (W. Virginia Mountaineers)
•Guillaume Yango (Pacific Tigers)
•Chevon Troutman (Pittsburgh Panthers)
< *c>Women’s division
< *c>All-Homonym Team
•Krystle Horton (Middle Tennessee State Lady Raiders)
•Krystal Fazier (Rice Lady Owls)
•Crystal Simpson (Houston Lady Cougars)
•Kristal Tharp (Liberty Lady Flames)
< *c>All “Ee-Ee” Team
•Nefertiti Walker (Stetson Hatters)
•Dee-Dee Wheeler (Arizona Lady Wildcats)
•Ki-Ki Glass (Western Carolina Lady Catamounts)
< *c>All-Shh! Team
•Ashley Early (Vanderbilt Commodores)
•Ashli Schwab (Penn State Lady Lions)
•Ashleigh Newman (Maryland Terrapins)
•Shawntinice Polk (Arizona Lady Wildcats)
•Chandice Cronk (Santa Clara Broncos)
•Shaketia Barnes (Western Carolina Lady Catamounts)
< *c>All-LSU Team
•Scholanda Hoston
•Seimone Augustus
•Tillie Willis
•Wendlyn Jones
< *c>All-Original Team
•Tnonealyer Powers (Alcorn State Lady Braves)
•Jazz Covington (Louisville Cardinals)
•JimAnne Baker (TCU Lady Frogs)
•Wynter Whitley (Duke Blue Devils)
•Twiggy McIntyre (Kansas State Wildcats)

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