Water in the stars?

Believing that one of Saturn’s moons appears to contain liquid water (and therefore possibly also life in some form despite the severe cold up there), could they also suspect that liquid seen with their long-range telescopes just might be some form of alcohol because alcohol doesn’t freeze?
And that might indicate we’ve found a moon full of boozers! Now won’t this world have to get busy to investigate that possibility?
Just don’t knock that idea! A place with that abundance of alcohol certainly would receive priority from our explorers of the stars.
Their product so far away is bound to be expensive to obtain, but all the better because our world’s inhabitants are now conditioned to believe nothing comes cheap anymore!
And if my guess is right, won’t that accelerate our travel plans? I already can imagine every small airport like ours soon will be full of parked spaceships and, of course, liquor lounges too.
If the police attempt to intervene, they would be completely helpless away out there in attempting to control drunk drivers! Drunk or sober, those extra-terrestials definitely are way ahead of us on space travel, where speed limits are still unknown.
Remember those “unidentified flying objects” we used to watch for, especially over our lakes? Well, my supposition is their crews probably were stealing our water to take home to dilute their liquor!
Their intoxicant probably would be what we always called moonshine or “white lightning”—and where else but the skies did those terms originate?
But look out, one of these days their product may be flooding our market! Free of government taxes, if they get the right deal, their ware may become the best bargain on our shelves.
I remember the days when it was imagined the UFOs could be transporting those strange giants called Sasquatch—and there were Sasquatch sightings somewhere regularly.
Now, you’d hate to imagine our streets full of tipsy Sasquatch! Drunk or sober, you could hardly expect them to find their own way home—all that great distance away!
So down your street they would come, going door-to-door here selling their products—and forcing their customers to deal in order for the giants to have money for their trips back home. And no one would dare refuse them!
Before long, our armies would be forgetting about Iraq and other hostile countries in our world in order to focus on the main threat within our borders. Soon there would not be any safe country to be found in this world.
If worse troubles could occur, the Sasquatch could set those in motion also, lurking among us in great size and numbers while we could be too stunned to defend ourselves!
Just do not ignore that possible threat that may follow our first sighting of what looks like water among the stars considered dry until now!
• • •
While looking across the highway from McDonald’s while coffeeing there, I’m always reminded of the days when Ma Flinders pastured her black and white Holstein milk cows—all 80 of them—clear up to the railroad tracks.
Then Irene Hill-Haver, the retired Crozier school teacher, handed me a page from a 1979 edition of the Times in which I had featured Ma Flinders’ closing of the dairy—complete with photos.
Irene had clipped the page and saved it for me.
That pasture to feed cows soon was occupied by eateries for people!
• • •
As springtime advances here, will our bear problem of last summer continue?
Sixty bears in town was the situation by actual count a year ago. For the first time in memory, there were rdangerous prowlers regularly inhabiting our community.
One incident well-remembered was the night a local man heard a noise at his front entrance, looked through the bottom glass of his door, and found himself nearly nose-to-nose with a big bear looking back at him only inches away!
It’s remembered that Black Bear Camp at Nestor Falls was well-named for its shaggy neighbours, but never before has there ever been experienced such an invasion locally!
And yet there were no reported attacks on anything except garbage barrels in backyards or alleys as the wild visitors usually seemed well-behaved.
The bear scare died away with winter as our unwanted guests went to sleep as is their habit. But some of the hibernaters then were discovered by youngsters going too close for comfort!
Game wardens and police were kept busy. Officers with tranquilizer pellets moved bears until fall and probably are hoping that problem has ended.
A word of advice comes from a camp owner who keeps firecrackers within reach to discourage the bears. While some residents might prefer a rifle, firing a gun would not be appreciated among homes here.
Instead, the firecracker explosion is reported reliable for clearing bears away.
Something else to think about while deciding to outwit a bear in the forest. If there is a hill around, run down it quickly—the bear being handicapped, it’s said, with short front legs that cannot run downhill rapidly.
It’s a tip well worth remembering.
Town officials soon will be issuing warnings and advice concerning bears that should be accepted because the next bear which comes along could be the wrong one to ignore!
• • •
With the arrival of the spring run-off, be ready to start eating some yummy smoked sucker—maybe your best meal since you tried them last year.
The suckers soon will start streaming from the creeks and rivers into our lakes in the thousands.
My favourite creek was at Mine Centre, close to our log home, but the suckers will be heading into Rainy Lake wherever you go (Frog Creek, for sure) or take a safe stand above the Ranier rapids on the railroad bridge.
All that’s required to catch them in most places is either a long-handled pitchfork or a pike pole or a six-foot-pole with a hook fastened on, so enjoy. You also take along a feed sack because it’s easy to get greedy if you’ve ever tried smoked sucker before!
But take as many as you can carry because wherever you go for the smoking, the traditional payment used to be a share of that good stuff for the smokehouse operator, if you can find one not too busy!
And remember, as you haul them in, there has been no limit on your catch because suckers are considered rough fish and beneath contempt for game wardens.
But don’t let that fool you because they are so great smoked that whenever you get company for a meal, just bring out your smoked suckers! The same guests will want to return again and again.

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