Summer’s come to an end

At the debating table at the Bakery in Drizzle Creek this morning everyone was in a blue funk. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day—a rare commodity this past summer. There seemed to be no reason for the depression, then it struck me: back to school.
But there was no reason to be depressed. None of us go to school or have school-aged children, and we definitely are not the most profoundly depressed segment- teachers. The only ones there with reason to be depressed were the school bus drivers.
I guess in was just a deep-seated repressed memory of a mis-spent youth. However after the breakfasts started to be served the mood brightened appreciably, except for the Runt. He sniffled twice and then emptied his nose into a napkin.
“Seem to have picked up a bug last weekend in Duluth,” he offered as determined to share his misfortune with the rest of the table he reached for another handful of napkins. We all shuffled our chairs as far from him as possible.
“Is it the swine flu or the bird flu,” quizzed Cousin It as he swept his hair back out of his eyes.
“That means you either need oinkment or tweetment,” he offered laughing hilariously at his own humour. Over the next five minutes we all caught on. The Runt just kept sniffling.
Travel plans for the long weekend were discussed with a complete discussion on travel documents and wallet-size merits. Even the most minute details at the debating table are discussed in depth- anything to delay getting at the chores of the day.
“I got this new enhanced driver’s license with a chip in it. Only forty bucks,” bragged Cousin It as he dug desperately to extract it from his wallet. Five minutes later he succeeded. That certainly will speed things up at the border crossing.
“Myself, I use a Nexus card. The professional’s choice,” lectured Sir Ab, an only occasional guest at the debating table as he hurriedly finished his breakfast as the Runt was hungrily eyeing his last two slices of bacon.
“Say, I need a little help locating a new blade for my lawn mower. Should get the grass cut at least once this year,” he stated. Sir Ab and Moose have spent the better part of the summer and a hundred bucks on gas scouring area dumps for a ‘good, used’ mower blade, instead of picking up a new one for $19.95 at the hardware store. They have taken cheapness and procrastination to a whole new level.
“Yeah, I’ve got a chip on my credit card too. My wife’s got one on her shoulder,” brayed Moose as he hurriedly scanned the Bakery to make sure spies were not present to report on him.
“Elliott, when are you delivering the rest of that sweet corn? My digestive tract is pretty much adjusted now and I think I could handle it without any catastrophic incidents,” he added, smacking his lips as he licked the last of the jam from his whiskers.
I just got up and left. I walked past the school twice just to remind myself, I did not have to go back. I thought it would elevate my spirits, but it just reminded me it’s too late for some of us.

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