Mitch Calvert
The Muskie boys’ hockey team wrapped up another season with a dinner and awards presentation last week at the Adventure Inn.
A banquet hall full of family, friends, and representatives of the Blueline Club gathered to honour a season that started slow back in November but ended with a run to the all-Ontarios in North Bay last month.
Assistant coach and emcee Ken Christiansen first took the stage and entertained everyone on hand with a good-natured roasting of the players in what he dubbed the “Kenno” awards.
In Christiansen’s version, goalie Devon Stromness took home the award for “Fastest text-messaging thumbs on the team.”
“He’ll set up in the back there after the banquet and give you demonstrations,” Christiansen ribbed.
“It’s really something to see, believe me, because he can really go.”
Next on Christiansen’s hit list were a pair of forwards familiar with the “sin bin.”
“This is the ‘know the league penalty timekeepers by their first name award,’ and we have a tie between Zach ‘What I do?’ McCool and Mike ‘10 minutes’ Jourdain,” he joked.
It was yet another tie in the “Went away on a road trip but forgot my skates” award between Robbie Rea and Donovan Cousineau, with honourable mention going to Kyle Herr for forgetting his pants on a trip to Dryden.
“One of the lads went to Dryden without his pants, but that was okay because one of the Muskie girls gave him a pair,” Christiansen noted.
“And like Arnold Schwarzenegger would say: ‘the boy had to wear the girly pants.’”
The next dubious honour went to Brett McMahon for the “I know we went to Hooters, but don’t tell my mother award,” and then Jamie Kaun was dubbed “King of the Buffet.”
“We went to the Country Buffet, and about halfway through the cook was standing by the door, and he was just bawling, and I thought, ‘What the heck is wrong, why is he crying?’” Christiansen pondered.
“But then I saw Jamie Kaun going up for the fifth time and it all made sense.”
The laughs continued through head coach Shawn Jourdain’s address—notably when he discussed his reasoning for taking the plunge behind the bench.
“The wife and I had sat down and tried to figure out how we were going to make this work with five kids, but once she saw the schedule and saw how much time I was going to be gone, she said, ‘You have to do this,’” Jourdain joked.
“She enjoyed her winter and I spent a lot of time on the bus with some very wonderful kids.
“You learn a little bit about each kid over the year, but the parents have done a wonderful job raising them,” Jourdain stressed.
“We get comments everywhere we go on how well-behaved and well-mannered they are,” he lauded.
“Hockey is a game, but it teaches you life skills more than anything else, and that will carry on with you to bigger and better things, and I wish all of [the seniors] well.”
Christiansen led into the actual individual awards by switching to a slightly more serious tone.
“It’s always the things behind-the-scenes that you remember,” he noted. “When you’re all done years later, all you have left is the memories, and I have a lot of good memories.”
Christiansen then addressed the players, telling them how proud he was of their efforts all season—and how close they were to making some noise in North Bay.
“Some day from now, when you’re 30 years old sitting in a bar with the guys, you’ll say you were on the greatest team that ever played,” he laughed.
The team also was presented with a cheque for just under $11,000 from Couchiching Chief Chuck McPherson (generated from a bingo held in support of the team just prior to the all-Ontarios)—especially important after it was learned the squad was $4,000 short in its budget prior to leaving for North Bay.
The list of individual award winners were as follows:
•Randy Roach Memorial “Unsung Hero” award—Ryan Shortreed;
•A.R. “Al” Freeman Memorial (most gentlemanly Muskie)—Josh Scott;
•Mrs. Bert Egan Memorial Trophy (outstanding contribution to Muskie hockey)—Taylor Jorgenson;
•Billy Woods Award (rookie of the year)—Donovan Cousineau;
•Rod Cain Memorial Award (contribution to the development of good sportsmanship, morale, and teamwork)—Matt DePiero;
•Danny Johnson Memorial Award (player who best displayed his love for the game)—Zach McCool; and
•Barney Maher Award (most valuable player)—Kyle Herr
The players also handed each coach a parting gift to conclude the evening.
Christiansen was given a door knob (because he often refers to players as “door knobs”) while trainer Paul Cousineau was given a dog toy because he made the mistake of wearing a “Big Dog” T-shirt to the rink one day—and had to live with the nickname for the rest of the season.
Brad Hill was given a dictionary because the players said he often uses terms deemed unnecessarily complicated while head coach Jourdain was given a six-pack of Diet Pepsi because of his propensity to guzzle diet cola on the road.
