FORT FRANCES—When Melissa McCormick was 19, she was out with her friends having a fun night at the disco in Detroit.
On her way home to Windsor, she got a flat tire on a Detroit freeway. But while she thought her troubles were over when a stranger, “Freddy,” changed her tire for her, she was wrong.
She and “Freddy” were beset upon by a gang that drove up to them. He was robbed and beaten, tied up, and put in the trunk of a car. She was knocked out, kidnapped, repeatedly gang-raped, beaten, and even shot at.
After 12 hours in harrowing captivity, she convinced the leader of the gang to let her go on the promise she wouldn’t go to the police.
McCormick got away, told her story to the police, had a rape analysis, and had her injuries tended to.
But after the ordeal, which received considerable media coverage at the time and to this day is considered the worst case of sexual assault in Detroit history, McCormick’s life was shattered.
Now imagine, if this happened to you, could you ever be happy again? McCormick’s answer is: Yes, you can.
McCormick was the guest speaker at the Rainy River District Victim Services Program’s inaugural “Dash & Dine” event Sunday.
After seeing 55 participants and program volunteers walk 4.5-km from downtown Fort Frances to the waterfront and back earlier in the afternoon for the “dash” portion, about 100 people attended La Place Rendez-Vous that evening to dine, thank RRDVSP founders and volunteers, and hear McCormick’s inspirational story.
After her attack, McCormick said she it was very difficult to know what to do, especially since services like the victim services program here did not yet exist.
Coming from a strict Serbian Orthodox home, McCormick’s father was mostly concerned that his daughter—who, as a woman, already was not equal to a man—was no longer a virgin after the attack.
She stopped believing in God for 10 years after finding seemingly no answers as to how this could happen to someone who’d always lived her life as “a good girl.”
“I couldn’t reconcile the fact my life had gone this way,” McCormick remarked.
“I was a basket case. I was depressed, huge, huge bouts of depression,” she added. “And, of course, my family doctor sent me to a psychiatrist. Back then, they didn’t have crisis centres.”
Her psychiatrist prescribed valium, which worked for a while. Then McCormick started getting severe headaches and took prescribed pain-killers, ultimately seeing her hooked on both kinds of drugs.
After that, she started dabbling in kinds of other drugs.
After realizing she was an addict, her family doctor got her to quit prescription drugs “cold turkey.” That’s when she decided to face facts as to what happened and learn to live with it.
“It’s been over 30 years and I have a great life. I’m glad I’m alive,” she remarked. “I’ve got three beautiful kids, I’ve got a 28-year-old son, 21-year-old daughter, and 18-year-old daughter.
“I ran my own business for 20 years, which was extremely successful. I’m very well known in the Windsor area for my volunteer work. I have a great life,” added McCormick, who now spends her time as a consultant and motivational speaker.
She noted she’s been married and divorced twice, and for now is just sticking with “a very nice dog.”
“I’m happy every day. One of the biggest things I’ve accomplished is I really don’t care what anybody thinks,” stressed McCormick, adding she’s gotten rid of the negative people in her life.
“I like to fill my life with positive people. I like to be surrounded by people that make a difference. That’s what’s important to me,” she noted.
McCormick said she forgave her attackers “a long, long time ago,” and actually feels sorry for them in that they only live to be cruel and prey on others (by the way, her attackers went to trial—two of them plead not guilty, the rest did not. Three of them are still in prison; the rest are out on parole).
“Not only that, but I do believe in cause and effect—what goes around comes around,” McCormick continued. “I have faith that everybody pays the price.
“If you do something really bad, you pay the price. If you do something good, you get rewarded.”
McCormick said one of the key aspects of her recovery was being open about what happened to her and not being afraid to talk about it.
“That’s why I call [what I do] a cause,” she explained. “I’m representing the people that don’t have the strength to speak up stand tall.
“That’s okay, eventually they will.”
She also said the birth of her first child was a dose of reality that forced her to think about someone other than herself.
McCormick also said she’s realized we live in a “depressed society” and many people are struggling through the same things, but she’s found it’s much better to be easy going than serious; be creative, not competitive; and always believe everybody has something positive to offer.
McCormick said it’s fortunate organizations like the RRDVSP now exist.
“It’s really, really important we have victim services, that we have crisis centres, that bring awareness to the public like this,” she stressed. “It’s a step in the right direction.
“These people who are making a difference,” she added later, referring to the RRDVSP.
McCormick’s complete story is in her book, “The Queen’s Daughter,” which came out in 2004 but is now in its second printing. McCormick was selling signed copies Sunday, and gave the proceeds to the RRDVSP.
The survivor’s tale currently is being made into a feature film, and will be in theatres later this year.
(The title, “The Queen’s Daughter,” refers to what her attackers called her. McCormick said all they knew about Canada was that it had a reigning queen, and the night she was assaulted she was dressed up, wearing a rabbit fur coat and driving a new car. To them, she must have seemed liked royalty).
RRDVSP executive director Monika Huminuk said the theme of this year’s “Dash & Dine” was sexual assault, but it will change from year to year.
“It might be fire or car collision, or something along that line,” she noted. “A lot of people, when they refer to victims of crime, right away they think of domestic and sexual assault.
“But people forget about homicide and the grief of losing a loved one, or fire and the loss of property,” Huminuk remarked. “That’s all being a victim. We want to make sure that’s very clear.”
< *c>Show of thanks
Sunday night’s dinner also was a time to thank RRDVSP founders.
RRDVSP vice-chair Steve Latimer briefly recounted the history of the victim service program in Ontario, noting the first sites (three of them) were established in 1987 through funding from the Solicitor General’s Office.
In 1989, a survey concluded that victims, police officers, community agencies, and volunteers all were in agreement that immediate assistance and timely appropriate referrals helped reduce trauma and recovery time for victims of crime.
Victims felt more confident in dealing with the consequences of the crime and their emotional reactions. Police report victims, who’d had their own needs attended to effectively, were better able to recall details important to ongoing police investigations.
Today, there are 48 sites in Ontario, which are funded by the Ministry of the Attorney General. Most of them have charity status, including the one here, and that allows them to raise additional funds through events like the “Dash & Dine.”
All money stays in their respective communities.
In 2002, 16 individuals and community service providers gathered to establish a victim services program here, but it ended up taking another five years before the RRDVSP actually became a reality.
They developed a plan, and lobbied by way of application the Ministry of Attorney General’ Office to have approval and funding to develop a site in Fort Frances, with the goal to later expand to cover the entire district.
The RRDVSP became incorporated in February, 2007 while the office, located at 334 Scott St., opened its doors last May.
Founding members recognized included Latimer, Dave Saunders, Crown Attorney Robert “Buster” Young, Sheila McMahon, Leanne Eluik, Kim Gardiman, Joanne Spence, Hugh Dennis, Brian Angus, John McTaggart, Wesley Derksen, Gary Lockman, Betty-Anne Mackintosh, Bonnie Hoskins, and the late Patti-Jo Reid.
The Rainy River District Social Services Administration Board also was recognized for being the host organization for the RRDVSP prior to its incorporation.
Judy Koski accepted an award on DSSAB’s behalf.
Volunteers have undergone training and been accredited in the past year.
“Without the volunteers, there’s no program,” stressed Latimer. “They’re the backbone.”
Volunteers recognized included June Caul, Pat Basaraba, Kim McKelvie, Susan Radul, Charlene Strain, Kim Nicholson, Deb Emes, Cindy Baker, Patrice Gee, Peggy Loyie, Nadine Johnson, and Cliff Marsh.
RRDVSP web designer Cathy Tysz also received recognition for getting their website running and keeping it up-to-date.
< *c>What is RRDVSP?
RRDVSP partners with emergency services by providing immediate emotional and practical support to victims of crime and other tragic circumstances, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Trained volunteers will respond immediately to police requests for short-term emotional and practical support for victim(s).
Victims will receive one on one support until long-term help is found to ensure the victim is in a safe place, emotionally stable, has support and/or received appropriate medical attention, if required.
Victims are referred to the program by service professionals in the community or by self-referral when visiting the RRDVSP office.
Transportation to a safe place, temporary housing, food, and clothing are some of the services that may be available for victims.
RRDVSP needs volunteers that are willing to provide support for victims throughout Rainy River District.
Specialized training is provided.
To find out more, contact the local office (274-5687). All volunteers must complete all the training modules, and pass the final overview (exam) at the end of the training to qualify.
Certified volunteers still will receive on-call training for their first few schedules, and are on probation for a period of four months.
(Fort Frances Times)
Fort Frances Times
Local News from Across the Rainy River District
