Last month, Northridge Funeral Home celebrated serving the Rainy River District with compassion and professionalism for 20 years. The Times caught up with Northridge owners Jason and Rhonda Lilley to talk about their experiences over the past two decades.
According to the Lilleys, “The busyness of the funeral home is a very difficult task to maintain.”
That’s not surprising, considering Jason is currently one of the last funeral directors active full-time serving the Rainy River District, which definitely comes with its challenges. Emo-based Northridge is extremely busy, serving 250 to 300 families on average per year, as well as providing transfer services for the Ontario Regional Coroner’s office in Thunder Bay and its headquarters in Toronto.
“Jason has basically put his life on hold to give service to the community and hasn’t been home since 2010 to visit his family,” said Rhonda.
“Thankfully, my mom [Elaine] visits every summer,” Jason added with a smile. “She chases the staff and keeps the grass cut.”
When asked when he first gave thought to becoming a funeral director, Jason replied, “I was working for a funeral home before I could drive a car. My parents were standardbred racehorse trainers and farmed. Harold Arn of Arn Funeral Homes owned racehorses with my father, and he asked Jason at age 15 if he would like to work for them.
Jason worked after school and on weekends, behind the scenes, cutting grass, washing cars, dusting and vacuuming. In fact, he was recently reminded of his early days as he parked cars for a service remembering the late Sharon McNally: “This is where my job started 34 years ago… parking cars—and where it will end.”
Northridge presently employs six people full-time and 10 part-time. Sadly, the recent passing of Dixie Kinnear has not only left the company with one fewer staff member but also with sadness in the hearts of everyone working there.
“Dixie worked with us for approximately seven years, was a great team player and very knowledgeable about people in the district,” Jason said, adding that he and Rhonda have also been remembering former bookkeeper Beth Angus, who has also passed since their opening and is sadly missed.
Licensed Funeral Director Dawn Marie Sheppard assists over the summer months, providing some respite from the workload, but so far, Jason hasn’t been able to recruit a full-time licensed funeral director. However, a student is coming from Humber College in September for a year-long placement and will hopefully decide to stay.
Jason attended Humber College in Toronto when it was the only post-secondary institution offering schooling to become a funeral director. Humber remains a highly prominent school today. Jason graduated as a fully licensed funeral director at age 19. He worked in Toronto, then the West Lorne, Glencoe, Dutton and Rodney areas (made up of small towns, much like our district) for several years.
When Jason relocated here from Dutton, he had worked in several funeral homes but never owned one. Once arriving in the district, Jason purchased a home from Gerald and Marlene Goliquer, north of Pinewood.
The property where Northridge Funeral Home is located was purchased from Stan Bates in 2004. The structure was likely built in the mid-1990s. Renovations began from the ground up, and several local contractors saw that the work was done. At that time, a three-bay car garage was added.
Today, Northridge is a good, solid building. Jason feels that the 11,000-square-foot property is adequate for the funerals taking place today.
With Green’s Funeral Home ceasing operations in 2022, Northridge became a very large operation and one of the first privately owned and operated funeral homes to do business in the district for many years. Prior to Green’s closing, Northridge had provided an alternative choice for people, especially in the west end of the district. Green’s was owned by several national chains over the years, absorbing locations in Atikokan and Rainy River.
One of the biggest drivers of change for funeral homes in recent years was the COVID-19 pandemic.
“Unfortunately, COVID greatly affected the fabric of funeral homes,” Jason said. “People couldn’t get to express their grief because of restrictions; churches, halls and basically every business were affected. People were taught how to do a lot more electronically. If families weren’t able to have services for their mothers during COVID, it was kind of like, ‘We didn’t have one for Mom, so I guess we won’t have one for Dad.’ That appears to be the thinking since COVID, even though COVID is long gone.”
While the pandemic didn’t affect Northridge as much as funeral homes in some parts of the province, Jason said he’s saddened by the definite contribution it has made to the loss of community spirit.
Northridge, however, feels very fortunate that the community has long been an integral part of a successful and heartfelt funeral, from ministers (both practising and retired), laypeople, churches, food providers, music people, to the Loweys and Loewens greenhouses, who, along with Safeway, have made flower arrangements to fill the void of a shortage of flower shops. There are also urns and monuments provided by local people.
“We are blessed with a team of people who supply exceptional services,” Jason said.
But there have been other shifts in the industry, according to Jason.
“There have been significant changes with families not wanting to have public services,” he said. “Family dynamics have changed; many individuals have left the area for work, and the parents don’t want them to bother them to come back for a service.”
Rising funeral costs can also be a factor, but Jason feels he’s been able to keep costs manageable compared to other parts of the province.
When asked how they see the funeral industry evolving in the future, the Lilleys responded: “At some point we may see communities no longer having local funeral services available and having to rely on larger centres outside of the district. This could happen not only in the Rainy River District but all over Ontario.”
According to Jason, “funeral directors do not seem eager to come to Northwestern Ontario. Directors here must wear many hats. In a larger area, there are a number of organizations that will help out. Also, directors don’t want to be on call 24 hours a day.”
Jason and Rhonda shared that working in this industry definitely takes an emotional toll on both them and the staff.
“There are funerals that certainly affect us on a personal level,” Jason said. “We’re all human. There’s no PTSD for funeral directors; we’re up there with lawyers and dentists, the last people that people want to see.”
“Everyone working at Northridge sacrifices their families; this is one of the challenges of a 24-hour-a-day industry. We need to respond to the needs of families, hospitals, long-term facilities, police and coroners to collect the deceased.”
Some of the toughest situations to deal with are the deaths of babies and children, suicides and the deaths of young people passing because of the drug epidemic in the district. It is also extremely difficult when family members are estranged. Sometimes in such situations, Northridge staff have had to become mediators.
Jason shared that he and his staff would agree that there are definitely highs and lows to the job.
“Without a doubt, knowing that we’ve helped a family through a grieving process and giving them direction for recovery is a high. Also, when people come to make funeral arrangements, they are often in such grief that they feel they can’t make it through a service. We help them make the transition happen. The lows are living through grief with every family. Seeing the grief people are feeling is extremely difficult. We are such a close-knit community that the highs and lows affect us all.”
Jason (54) and Rhonda (59) are approaching retirement age and hoping that someone will continue to hold the reins as they hand the torch over and continue with the same fortitude that they have provided. Meanwhile, they enjoy their farm life, and both agree that the 50 km drive to their home after a busy day is their relaxation time. Once they retire, they may move west.
“We’ve missed out on our grandchildren but are looking forward to involvement with our great-grandchildren,” they said.
Not that they won’t miss their close Northridge family. As Anne Mailloux, funeral assistant and a valued member of the Northridge family, noted, “We definitely spend many hours together. Jason works with predominantly women.”
To which Jason laughed and admitted, “I have many sister wives.”
Those who have dealt with Northridge Funeral home are completely aware that this team that make up Northridge provide excellent service. It’s been said by many that you may enter the funeral home grieving a loved one, feeling completely at a loss, but once you sit in Jason’s office, are offered a cup of coffee, and have him share his knowledge and kindness with you, you will likely leave feeling much better. And confident that with the help of Northridge Funeral Home, you will get through the funeral process.
The district congratulates Northridge Funeral Home on their 20 years of exceptional and outstanding service.
