Duane Hicks
The ongoing issue of gender violence was brought to light during the annual candlelight vigil and service held Saturday afternoon at Knox United Church here.
This was the 15th-annual observance locally of the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women but Saturday also marked the 25th anniversary of what has come to be known as the “Montreal Massacre,” the day a man entered l’École Polytechnique de Montréal and killed 14 young women simply because they were women.
Peggy Loyie, executive director of Rainy River District Victims Services Program, noted two young women in the community—Melani Sutton and Deanna Daw—were murdered in 2000 and the United Native Friendship Centre (where she worked at the time) felt the need to do something.
So it began officially observing the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women.
“Locally, we’ve taken time each year since 2000 to remember the lives of girls and women that we’ve known and loved, but were tragically removed from this Earth,” Loyie remarked.
A list of these victims is shown at the end of each Day of Remembrance held here.
“We as a community, despite our ethnicity, our socio-economic status, our age, are all affected by violence against women,” Loyie noted.
“And sadly over the years, we continue to add pictures and names to the list of victims of violence.
“These are all people who have roots within the Rainy River District,” Loyie said. “And when you think about how large Canada is, these are only people that we know of that are part of our observance.
“I think it’s a very sad statement.”
Loyie said the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women “represents an opportunity for all of us to reflect on the phenomenon of violence against women in our society.”
“It’s also an opportunity to consider all of the women and girls for whom violence is a daily reality,” she added.
It’s also a day when communities can consider concrete actions to work to eliminate all forms of violence in general, such as bullying in schools.
Loyie said violence destroys lives and weakens the fabric of our society, and it takes a heavy toll on our communities and economy.
Janice Boneham, a member of the Knox United Church council, said the church was honoured to again host the ceremony, adding she recalls the feelings evoked by the Montreal Massacre a quarter-century ago.
“The feeling that I recall is very much like the feelings we have had recently with the shootings at Parliament Hill and the death of the soldiers,” she noted.
“The whole nation was in shock.”
Boneham said the local ceremony honours and remembers murdered and missing aboriginal women, and will continue to educate people and to work towards “a better society where every single person is respected and valued, and can live a safe and peaceful life free from violence of any kind.”
Local resident Buddy Loyie, who has experienced family tragedies because of domestic violence, said violence against women continues to be a problem here and elsewhere.
On Saturday morning, he went for breakfast with his brother-in-law and ran into two police officers, who said they responded to 12 violent incidents the previous night.
Loyie conducts sweat lodges and always dedicates one session in remembrance of women, which are important in everyone’s lives, especially in native communities where “the core, the strength, is in our women.”
“When women are hurt, when women are murdered, when women are abused, it weakens the fabric of our communities and so we pray for them,” he noted.
“I pray for a change in our own homes, in our own lives, so that we begin honouring those ones who give most to their communities—the women in our communities.”
Loyie said far too many girls have to grow up with violence, seeing it as a commonplace occurrence in the home.
“It shouldn’t be that way,” he stressed. “[Home] should be a place where children are loved. It should be a place where children are happy.
“Those kinds of homes that honour and love children, those are the greatest places children can be.
“I pray that people will begin honouring the women, the grandmothers, the mothers, the aunts, the daughters who bring children into this world,” added Loyie, noting those children should be able to live in “homes of love and compassion and happiness.”
Treaty #3 Police Cst. Armand Jourdain said he’s personally and professionally witnessed violence against women and children, and was a victim of sexual abuse himself from age five-10.
A proud father of three children, Jourdain said his six year-old daughter, Peyton, is one of his “greatest teachers.”
“I say that because from her birth, and as she continues to grow, I have watched the obstacles she has encountered and ones she will encounter in the future,” he noted.
One incident that deeply disturbed him, however, took place this summer when Peyton came home crying after a five-year-old boy punched her in the face, pulled her hair, and threw sand in her face while she was playing at the park.
When Jourdain went to see the boy and his parents to tell them about the incident, the boy swore at him and did other rude things.
He learned from another child that the boy had a history of violent behaviour toward others, including his sister.
When he talked to the boy’s mother about the incident, she asked him what his daughter did to cause her son to act like this.
“On the walk home, I told my daughter that no matter [how old] a boy is—whether he is five or 50—that a boy or man never hits a girl or woman,” said Jourdain.
He is aware the cycle of domestic violence goes on and on, and has started to speak to his 13-year-old son and six-year-old daughter about domestic violence in hopes they can start to identify the behaviour at their age, whether it’s rough play on the playground between a boy and a girl or beginning dating.
“I believe kids are smarter than we give them credit for,” Jourdain remarked.
“We teach them how to read, do math, and play sports, so we should also stress what they should be cognizant of, as far it concerns attitudes and behaviours that should be addressed by school and by family.”
The “Faceless Doll” project, made by students at St. Francis School as well as local Girl Guides and Pathfinders, was on display during Saturday’s candlelight service.
Charmaine Langlais, community wellness co-ordinator with the Métis Nation of Ontario, said the project, originally developed by the Native Women’s Association of Canada, was adapted for the MNO to commemorate the lives of missing and murdered aboriginal women and girls.
Each student had the opportunity to make one doll, selecting the dolls’ clothing, hair, and accessories, and decorating the doll as they chose.
Teachers assisted with gluing the felt pieces together, then they each were pinned to a large Hudson’s Bay blanket.
The dolls have no faces because it means the doll isn’t one woman or girl. Rather, it represents every woman and girl who has ever gone missing or been harmed.
The “Waabishkiibinesii Women” drum group also performed two healing songs while Charleen Gustafson performed the song, “Juanita.”
The vigil was hosted by Rainy River District Victims Services Program, Sunset Country Métis, United Native Friendship Centre, and Rainy River District Women’s Shelter of Hope.
