A lifelong journey continued

This is the second of a three-part series. This is a true story about “Mark,” who agreed to meet with me and be interviewed with the goal of helping others.
Mark has spent the majority of his adult life living with depression and, for many years, denying its existence.
Mark is a 59-year-old man. He is a husband, father, brother, and successful business man. He has been the owner/operator of his own business for many years and is highly-respected in his career.
Mark has depression and recently spent several days in hospital for a suicide attempt.
Mark moved his family back to their home community after the second illness, believing the family stress would be alleviated.
“The years of going on and off medication eventually culminated in my being hospitalized,” he said. “I cannot recall dates or ages for this time period, it is a blur of an awful, painful time in my life.
“I was clinically depressed and trying, unsuccessfully, to ignore it. It wouldn’t let me.
“Throughout this time, my marriage disintegrated. After 25 years of marriage, my wife served me with divorce papers. My youngest brother had also died a painful death due to alcoholism in 1996.
“I began intensive out-patient therapy. As I started to recover and began feeling better and having hope, my wife divorced me. It was an ugly, bitter divorce that lasted four years and cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.
“She died within nine months of the divorce being final.
“I believe that had it not been for therapy and medication during the time of my divorce, I would not have survived.
“In 2001, I met my current wife. I was in a recovery program that I began in 1999 and although I wasn’t taking medication, I was positive about life and the future.
“I had worked hard and, despite my costly and painful divorce, had recovered financially, emotionally, and spiritually. My new wife and I had dreams and goals for our life together.
“Unfortunately, someone stole those dreams to the tune of $400,000. Not only was this a huge financial loss, but it crushed my belief in people and in my own judgment.
“This was a trusted employee who I had also tried to help numerous times through her personal crises. She had been stealing from me for two years. This ordeal lasted another one-and-a-half years with legal fees and court appearances.
“Although I tired to regain my positive outlook, somewhere deep inside the anger and hurt and distrust remained. I worked with a therapist for many months and thought that life was moving forward, but the demon that is depression was quietly creeping back in.
“In fall of 2007, I was once again hospitalized for depression and suicide ideation. Prior to being hospitalized, I knew that I wasn’t doing well, but I thought that I had been presenting a fairly stable front.
“And something that happens when the depression is growing is that you forget what it feels like to be well. All you know is that life kind of sucks and, for me, I become suspicious and distrustful of people.
“I also lose hope and confidence in myself. My purpose for life cannot be found. There was one weekend, though, when my family was all together for a few days that they saw through me.
“They confronted me and I admitted that I wasn’t doing real well. Through conversation, I realized that they were concerned and I agreed to see a doctor and look for a therapist again.
“I was taking medication at this time, but it didn’t seem to be working. I went to a psychiatrist and he changed my medication, but I didn’t follow up with the therapy.
“I started having side effects from the new medication but didn’t realize it. My mood was a bit brighter, but I was getting angry, then more suspicious, then suicidal.
“It was potentially deadly.
“Two-and-a-half months after the weekend with my family, I was taken to the emergency room by my wife and my sister. I had been crying steadily, between angry outbursts and after one suicide attempt.
“I continued talking about my next plan to kill myself and they took me to the hospital.”