‘Grannies Gone Wild’ not pretty

Spring Break here at The Beach has had an ongoing scandal the last few years involving a movie producer, a bevy of teenage beauties, and a mixture of booze, drugs, and hormones.
The resulting video, “Girls Gone Wild,” was a runaway success with mega million sales, plus a whole raft of criminal and civil suits that still are working their way through the court system.
The general behaviour of Spring Break crowds—and the businesses that cater to them—hasn’t improved much and, in fact, has gone even further off track.
The area’s tourism association, along with the beer companies, are spending more money than ever (money being the key word) to promote the ongoing orgy.
Committee members meet regularly in the coffee room after Sunday services at the First Self-Righteous Church of the Almighty Buck.
But Friday night things on The Beach finally came to a head. The “Wild Bikini” contest was in full swing, and the performers gave exhibitions that would put many pole and lap dancers to shame.
A new group, suitably garbed, charged the stage and put on an exhibition more uninhibited than anything seen to date this season.
After monopolizing the venue for an hour, they retired to the Tiki Bar to slake their parched lips and take over the Karaoke system.
The booze flowed and the music blared out ever more raucous, louder and louder as the last vestiges of sober behaviour slipped away into an alcohol-fuelled fog.
It was then the management stepped in and cleared the bar.
“We can’t have any more of this! We have standards to maintain! Our paying guests are complaining,” ranted the third assistant manager, visibly agitated to the point he was foaming at the mouth.
“Get out! All of you! And don’t come back or I’ll have you charged with criminal trespass! No one over 25 is allowed in here!” he screamed as he pulled the plug on the Karaoke machine.
So the “Raging Grannies,” grumbling mightily, arose and staggered out.
“Can you imagine it? Disgusting! Gross! I could just hurl! That looked like MY Granny, I could just cry!” were some of the comments from the shocked teenagers who had witnessed the exhibitions and exodus.
The hard rock then was turned up, the beer kegs opened, and the bikinis on the firm, nubile flesh once more moved and slipped provocatively.
The “Grannies Gone Wild” threat has been removed and debauchery of the younger generation could resume. After all, that’s where the money is.

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