‘Great Beaver’ awaits

Jack Elliott

From the back country there have been reports that the Great Beaver once again is moving down from the headwaters of Miller Creek towards Rainy River.
This monster—a relic of the Pleistocene era—apparently developed a voracious appetite for cardboard and duct tape.
No word if he has developed any carnivorous tastes, as well, but his appetite for giant pumpkins is well-known.
Both Gordon Olsen of Bergland and Eltjo Wiersema of rural Dawson are reported spending their nights in their patches guarding their giant gourds until the danger passes.
It is believed the only way to satiate the beast’s appetite is with a feast of fresh cardboard and duct tape.
Well, the boat race committee has a freshly-delivered supply of both commodities—and it’s up to you fearless souls to make your way down to Hannam Park this Sunday (July 17) and sign up for the races.
For an entry fee of $10, you can pick up your supplies—two sheets of cardboard, a roll of duct tape, and two poplar sticks—at 12:30 p.m.
That will give you three hours to construct a beaver-proof vessel to brave the waters of the mighty Rainy as the races get underway at 3:30 p.m.
Those of a more determined and artistic bent can enter the open class and design and build their ship before time.
The entry fee also is $10 per boat, but you supply your own materials.
Decorations and costumes are encouraged.
Spectacular (if tacky) trophies will be awarded for winners of each class. “Best Theme” and “Most Spectacular Sinking” awards also are presented.
All participants must complete a waiver of liability, with minors requiring parental consent.
All forms, including rules, will be available at the registration site.