What if?

Dear editor:
Hi, here I am again with some arcane knowledge which may, or may not, interest your readers.
Your editorial in last week’s Times about the Canadian at NORAD who ordered the shutdown of the skies over North America during the 9/11 crisis reminds me that Canadians have always been there (at NORAD) since the late 1950s.
When the United States erected the giant Billboard Antennas in the far north, known as Ballistic Missile Early Warning System (BMEWS), they were to give a 15-minute warning of a missile attack over the horizon from Russia.
The boffins did not know how powerful these aerials really were.
The deputy commander of NORAD has been a Canadian from its earliest inception and at the time of the big flap I am going to tell you about, he happened to Air Vice-Marshall Slemon of the RCAF (now deceased).
One night when all was quiet on the Northern Front, and it was the Air Vice-Marshall’s turn to be “in charge,” the BMEWS alarms sounded at NORAD. It seemed that a series of missiles had been launched from Russia and were heading for North America.
Needless to say, all h–l broke loose. The “Hole” at NORAD was buttoned up, the U.S. missile bases were alerted, and everyone prepared for the worst.
Luckily, Air Vice-Marshall Slemon wasn’t so sure and he took the wise precautions of doing some very swift checking and double-checking, and came to the sudden conclusion that what they were seeing was, in fact, their newfangled super duper BMEWS catching its own reflected radar pulses off the moon!
Everyone stood down and breathed great sighs of relief that nothing premature had happened.
I often wonder what would have happened that night if the American commander had been on duty.
Sincerely,
Gord Woollard
Emo, Ont.
Editor’s note: Gord Woollard is an ex-member of the BUMS (Brotherhood of Underground Mushroomers)—so designated after a certain period of service in the Northern NORAD Region Headquarters in the “Hole” in North Bay.
It also should be noted, as Mr. Woollard pointed out to me, that I had incorrectly placed Cheyenne Mountain in Wyoming. In fact, it is located in Colorado. Sorry about that.