It took six weeks. Six long and painful weeks to get rid of the pain in my shoulders and neck. Six weeks of daily exercises, six weeks of chiro and massage. Six weeks of heated bean bags, Tylenol, Advil and a big jug of Biofreeze. This week I finally noticed a difference. Finally!
I am still taking my heated bean bag to bed with me. However, I have hope that the end of this misery is in sight. This past week was the first week without the daily doses of Tylenol and Advil. I’m not going to get into a graphic description of the nighttime torture of trying to sleep. I was not happy.
I was not happy on a number of levels, the top ones being pain and lack of sleep. Then there was the frustration of not being able to work on any projects I have on the go. Not even for a little while! I couldn’t even sit in my chair without the bean bag. Grrr.
I feel I am fairly pro-active about most things, my physical well-being especially. I do not suffer in silence. I am in fact, quite the adept communicator when it comes to listing my aches and pains (I am not ashamed to admit that I am good at whining). I insisted on extra chiro appointments and did not miss a massage session. Both my chiro and massage therapist got chapter and verse on my aches and pains. What I could do, what I couldn’t do. Why it was making me angry and frustrated. What was I doing wrong. What had I ever done to set this off, what had I done to deserve it. Why me… you get the picture.
At long last I began to notice a difference. The suggestions from my chiro and therapist were helping. That’s the thing about going to any health practitioner: it requires you to do your part. They cannot do it on their own. You need to do the exercises, take the meds (or whatever they tell you to do) in order to get better. I have been getting better. Not 100 percent yet, but getting there.
The good thing about this ordeal – if there is a good thing – is that I am able to state pretty clearly what is wrong with me and say what I’ve been doing to try and help myself.
What about the people who aren’t able to be proactive about their health. Those seniors or kids who cannot communicate what is wrong with them. Who speaks for them?
They might need a health advocate, someone to speak for them. If you have a parent or grandparent in any kind of long term care you might have to speak for them. You might have to be super observant to notice discomfort or a lack of appetite and take your concerns to a nurse. The nurses don’t have the time with patients that you do. You can spot things that they may not. They do the best they can under sometimes difficult circumstances.
The same goes for a sick child. Take notice of everything that you think is not normal. Communicate accurately to the nurse or doctor. You might think it is minor or not important but say it anyway. Let the doc decide what’s important. Health professionals are mostly overworked so give them all the help you can.
My mother-in-law suffered from Alzheimer’s and was in long-term care. My husband went to visit her every day. Every day. He firmly believed that by being there every day, he was contributing to her well-being. He could pick up on things that might be missed if he didn’t go every day. His mom didn’t even know who he was but he still went. It’s not an easy thing to do when your mom doesn’t know you.
A friend of mine was an advocate for her grandmother. She too felt that she had to visit often to be sure that her grandmother was ok.
“We have so many wonderful memories of amazing caregivers in that facility, but there were also instances where I had to be her voice to ensure she received the care I felt she deserved to receive,” she said,
“Your ‘voice’ isn’t always used to point out lack of care and attention. Your voice is also important to make sure that they are included in facility events, outings, personal care, shopping etc. We all need a “squeaky wheel’ in our corner.”
“I remember on one occasion when she was 93 and she wasn’t feeling well. I asked about antibiotics and the nurse told me that they wouldn’t be prescribed because they didn’t want her to build up a tolerance to them… She was 93. I said that I felt it was highly unlikely a problem at this stage in her life. I requested the meds to make her feel better and to give her quality of life.”
“It’s important to keep an eye on the meds prescribed and why they are prescribed. It’s important to have someone there to monitor food to make sure it is delivered in a way that can be independently consumed. For example, she couldn’t cut up a chicken breast but loved to eat it when it was diced.”
“Most importantly, monitoring these little things helps to make your family member feel loved and secure. As my grandma aged, she started to feel more vulnerable. She once told me, sometimes I love your big mouth and sometimes it drives me crazy. I had to laugh… and agree.”
I think my friend makes a very important point here. Her grandmother was feeling very vulnerable in her old age.
As we age, we do become vulnerable. In more ways than one. We need help with lots of things that we used to do with ease. Our health is not as robust as it used to be (see shoulder rant at the beginning of this article). We may have serious health issues that greatly impact our quality of life and our ability to communicate with health professionals.
Feeling vulnerable is not a good feeling. Any time I have had a serious or even semi-serious health issue, I have not liked that feeling at all.
I have to say that nurses go a very long way in helping mitigate that feeling. They are calm, professional, reassuring – all the things you want and need when you are not well. Most of all, they are kind, caring people.
You should be well informed on the health of your parent or grandparent and listen carefully to what the doctors and nurses tell you. Write down any concerns you might have so you can discuss with the doctor or nurse. Communicate any concerns you might have clearly. Keep notes so you can share with other family members.
Do what you can to help with the care of your family member. Someday you may need someone to do it for you.
