Solid families our hope

By Pastor Sean Ward
The Apostolic Way

Recent news reports in parts of Ontario of parents concerned about their students being able to access elicit and pornographic material on public hubs has sparked debate about the possible lack of proper filtering programs across the province.

While I certainly agree that proper filtering is necessary, it also is true that any student with data access on their phone can view virtually any material they desire.

So establishing proper boundaries must begin at home—and the dangers of pornography should be clearly communicated before our children head off to school.

Many psychologists and therapists agree that viewing pornography is addictive and compulsive in that users will tend to seek out more explicit material over time to achieve the same level of stimulation.

This promotes something called dopamine “dysregulation,” which is very similar to drug addiction.

Some may argue this is not a social issue but I think it would be safe to say any behaviour that is addictive becomes one. Some analysts have said the increase in male dominance and violence in the industry is indicative of this trend and certainly posits a destructive role model for our children.

There are university studies that have shown that when men view pornographic material, the part of the brain involved in meaningful conversation shuts down while the part involved in work-related activities and objects becomes engaged.

In this way, viewing pornography will tend to stimulate one area of the brain and create an imbalance where sex and women in general become objectified.

By contrast, true healthy intimacy is a result of a balanced sharing of personalities and ideas, along with the physical aspects.

Pornography is counter relational. Two basic desires that every wife will have are for her husband to feel satisfied with her, and to be thought beautiful. The inclusion of pornography in a relationship creates a perpetual novelty which only can undermine these basic desires in a healthy long-term relationship.

The idea that more liberal policies towards pornography and explicit sexuality, in general, will result in an upward spiral of social order and happiness makes about as much sense as removing all the boundaries in the daily routines of our children with the view that they naturally will choose the mature course of action.

The reverse is almost always the case and certainly concerning sexuality, which outside the boundaries of long-term husband-and-wife commitment trends to promiscuity, relational break-up, and mental and emotional illness.

In my opinion, the current obsession with sex and the dramatic decrease in successful long-term relationships across North American and European countries cannot be coincidental.

We desperately need to communicate that long-term happiness is a result of balanced and principled application, and not succumb to the desire for instant gratification.

A successful long-term relationship between my mom and dad was, and is still, the foundation of our family—and solid families are the hope of the future of our nation.