“If we don’t say yes authentically, we say it resentfully, and that leads to far more problems than if we’d said no in the first place.”
Nat Lue
Last month’s column was titled “Saying No in November.” I was definitely not planning on following it with anything about saying yes in December ⸺ the busiest time of year for most of us!
But the opposites kept attracting and wrapping around each other, leading me to think thoughts along the lines of what E. Stanley Jones put so clearly, “Your capacity to say ‘No’ determines your capacity to say ‘Yes’ to greater things.”
The ancient Greek philosopher Pythagoras was on to this concept a long time ago (he died around 500 BC). Pythagoras stated, “The oldest, shortest words ⸺ ‘yes’ and ‘no’ ⸺ are those which require the most thought.”
Sometimes, which of those two words a person says can have very far-reaching implications, such as when one person asks another person if they will marry them. Of course, there are less extreme examples such as when a parent needs to say “No” to a child who wants to do something potentially dangerous, or wants a present that would be a poor choice.
Even something seemingly simple enough like saying “Yes” to taking on one more project can become the straw that breaks our peace down and makes the difference between a happy holiday and a stressful season.
Since many of us are probably quite busy at this time of year, I’ll end with a few questions to think about when the time is right, which may very well be after the clatter of the holiday season is over:
Is there anything I could say “No” to that would improve my life or other people’s lives? (Here’s a few ideas to get us thinking about what we personally could say “No” or “Yes” to.)
No to the temptation of yet another piece of chocolate, another beer, another TV show, something toxic on the internet even if it’s interesting.
No to a critical thought or a wave of anger that tries to steal your joy.
No to guilt-fuelled expectations and demands from people or organizations who take more than they give.
No to exhausting yourself doing things nobody has asked you to do just because you think they need to be done.
Is there anything I would like to say “Yes” to that would improve my life and other people’s lives?
Yes to giving young parents a little break and enjoying playing with some young children for an hour or two.
Yes to taking even a few minutes to walk around in the great outdoors even if it isn’t your favourite season.
Yes to releasing some of the sadness from a Christmas past and choosing to treasure this Christmas the best you can.
“Say ‘yes’ to life ⸺ and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you.” Eckhart Tolle
