Managing our minds is a big key to being able to manage many different aspects of our lives including emotions, relationships, time and money.
There are a lot of situations bombarding our minds these days not only on the news but also in our own individual lives and communities.
With all the challenges we are facing globally and personally I felt a series of columns on mind management would be helpful. Last month’s column focussed on becoming aware of and getting free from negative thoughts. It shared Dr. Daniel Amen’s concept of ANTS: Automatic Negative Thoughts.
When we feel discouraged or frustrated, or notice our mood start to drop, it can be very helpful to take a look at what sorts of thoughts are going on in our minds before and during these negative emotions. Almost always, there will be ANTS running around our minds causing distress.
So, now that we’ve had some time to notice what sorts of negative thought patterns might be going on inside of our minds, it’s time to look at some ideas of how we can start to manage our thoughts.
The first step in being able to change a negative thought pattern is to notice it is there. Often, we have been thinking and believing certain negative thoughts for so long that they seem like part of our personality. For example, a person who deep down believes that they are not good enough may cover up that deep and painful belief by identifying it as simply a lack of confidence.
Listening to how we are talking to ourselves inside our heads can be very eye-opening. We may have been shaming or berating ourselves since early in childhood and not notice anything amiss in the ways we communicate within our own minds.
We may catch ourselves silently calling ourselves names or beating ourselves up when we make a mistake or fail to meet a goal.
Once we become aware of a negative thought, belief, or mental habit, we can make a decision to intentionally and purposefully replace the negativity with positivity, or at least add in a little more grace to the imperfect but valuable person we are.
Let’s say we notice that an inner voice is saying something like How could you be so stupid? or You are so stupid!
We could purposely improve that to something like I made a stupid mistake but that does not mean that I am stupid. I will learn from this mistake.
Making these sorts of internal thought improvements will result in better emotions and increased energy which will strengthen us instead of weaken us like negative thoughts do. We may think that being harsh with ourselves will improve our performance but actually the opposite is true.
Giving our minds new and improved management patterns is a gift not only to ourselves but also to the people around us!
