Bette Davis was right. Getting old is definitely not for sissies. Getting old is aches and pains and any number of things that can go wrong with the human body and mind.
It starts out innocently enough – your back aches after an hour of weeding, or you shoulder hurts after a round of golf, or the lights are never quite bright enough for you to read the small print.
None of these things is any huge cause for concern. When I was younger I paid no attention to these “minor” messages that my body was trying to send me.
Until, of course, I could no longer ignore these things. As the years went by, the ache became a bad back, the poor light meant glasses and finally cataract surgery. The shoulder I blame on a break years ago. Back then, I thought my shoulder would get back to its pre- break form. Nope.
That’s not how it works. You never get back to your previous, younger self.
At some point you have to accept that you’re getting old. I hate to even say that. But a look in the mirror is all I need to remind me that I am indeed getting older.
What parts about getting older do I need to accept and what parts should I fight against and try to delay?
Well, I’m here to tell you that I’m pretty diligent about putting on the face cream every day. And yes, it is cream designed to fight “the signs of aging”.
My long time hairdresser knows she will see me every six weeks unless there is some sort of catastrophe. Can’t let those roots get too bad! We have had the discussion about when I should stop colouring my hair. At what point do I look like I’m pathetically trying to look younger than I actually am. Well, I’m actually trying to do that now but at some point I’m sure I will just look ridiculous with my dyed hair. I don’t know when that will be. I have a friend who is over 80 and she looks great with the colour she uses. Im not sure I’ll be able to pull that off but I’m pretty sure I will try to and trust that my hairdresser will tell me when it’s time to give up the fight.
Oh and what’s with the hair getting old! For most of my life I have relied on some natural curl in my hair for a hairstyle. I was pretty much in the “put the goop in it and go” school of hair maintenance. Well, that’s not happening now. What a mess. The curls are gone, to be replaced by frizz. I was forced to buy a flat iron to get rid of the frizz. Now I have to actually “do” my hair. Ugh.
At some point face cream and hair dye are not going to help. Of course, face cream and hair dye are just for appearance. What about the rest of me?
What about all of us? What can we do to maintain some quality of life as we age. What can we do so that we can continue to do the things we enjoy doing?
A friend of mine tells me this is how she copes with aging: “A big thing for me is to stop making excuses to go out and do different things. I would often find an excuse to stay home. I have been pushing myself to take advantage of invitations to try new things, go new places and explore more. It has been great for my mind. Not only that, it gets me moving and out of the house. Now, even if I don’t have someone to go with I will trot out alone just for the sake of the adventure, no matter how small it may be. My younger self would have rolled on the floor laughing at what I now consider an adventure! But that’s ok because my younger self is a memory and I choose to live in the moment to take advantage of all the new memories I am making. The key is to keep moving your mind and your body. While you’re at it, try to motivate your friends and family at the same time. Be a leader and enjoy it all while you can!”
I think she has the exact right attitude.
Obviously we have to do more than hair dye and face cream to look after ourselves.
After many years of writing about aging, I’ve learned a thing or two from the hundreds of articles I’ve read. Taking care of your body and your brain is more and more important as you age.
We need to stay physically strong. That means we have to stay active and exercise. I am not the poster child for exercise – I am counting gardening as exercise right now – but 150 minutes of moderate exercise is recommended. That’s a 30 minute walk, five days out of seven. Definitely do-able. Even four days out of seven if you can’t manage five days. Every little bit helps.
Staying physically active and strong helps our body and our brain. Being strong enough to avoid falls and take care of ourselves is important. Walking or any exercise has the added advantage of keeping our heart healthy. There is also a definite connection between physical activity and brain health. Simply put, exercise helps stimulate the good, dopomine part of the brain. Inactivity allows the “stress” part of the brain to be more active.
So, the word on physical activity is you should do what you can. Anything is better than nothing.
I recently saw a news story about a 70 year old track and field coach who has no intention of retiring any time soon. How is she still able to be so active at 70? Because she never stopped doing it. She kept exercising and coaching and because she did, she can still do what she wants.
I’m no track and field coach but I’ll use gardening as my own personal example of continuing to do what you want to do. If I give up weeding and digging and lugging and toting because my back hurts or my knee hurts then I won’t be able to do it. So I continue to do it, in spite of the aches and pains. I figure I’ll have those aches and pains anyway. I just have to be careful not to overdo it.
Golf or curling or pickle ball are other good examples. If you’ve golfed all your life, don’t stop now. You likely won’t be as good as you used to be but if you quit for a year or two, it will be really hard to start again. The aches and pains will kick into high gear.
Exercising our brains is important too. Learning new things is really good for the brain. If you decide to learn line dancing you get a double benefit – learning something new and exercising! You’d think I would do that. You’ll find something that keeps your brain engaged. Social interaction with friends counts. Plus it’s super important. Loneliness is a thing and it is not good for you.
We also have to look after our bodies by eating healthy nutritious food. Maintaining a healthy body weight contributes to your overall health. The more excess weight you carry, the harder it is to do anything. My common sense brain says that it’s not realistic to weigh what I did when I was 30 years old but I could seriously shed a few pounds and be healthier as a result. No doubt it would help my blood pressure too.
The thing is, we can never stop trying to stay healthy and take care of ourselves. We have to do the best we can, given our circumstances. We can’t just give up. If we do, we will have no quality of life as we age.
