Fashion or just good sense?

That new gigantic purse your spouse has just acquired looks like a real fashion statement.
But is it really?
The added capacity could be for anything from bringing along a supply of Depends for hubby to harvesting snacks at the buffet for tomorrow’s dinner or for the dog (or, in fact, to carry the dog itself).
Amongst seniors, the vicious little mutts are getting smaller and smaller—and ever more popular.
And clothes! The poofy shirt can disguise an expanding waistline or perhaps a bulging hernia you just haven’t gotten around to getting fixed.
At dinner the other evening, the hostess remarked on John’s new hair style.
“John, are you having a mid-life crisis taking on the Elvis look,” quizzed Connie, commenting on the long, flowing locks he was developing.
“Mid-life crisis! Are you crazy? I’m 81,” snorted John as he tipped back his wine glass.
“If anything, it’s a one foot in the grave and the other on a slippery slope.
“I had skin cancer and knew I needed an operation, but I told the Doc I didn’t want to come out blind,” John explained, holding his glass out for a refill.
“Blind! Goodness! I didn’t realize you had vision problems,” gasped Connie, her voice oozing empathy.
“No! No! It was my ear that cancer was eating away at and the Doc wanted to whack the whole thing off,” John replied.
“I told him if he did that, my glasses would fall off and I would be blind,” added John, whisking back his hair to reveal a hole about the size of a nickel in his right ear lobe.
“I let the hair grow to cover it up. Keeps the gawkers at bay,” he continued, brushing the hair back over his ear.
“Besides, the longer hair keeps my ears warmer when the wind blows,” John concluded with a good laugh.
Across the table, Joe looked at him and chuckled, “But when the wind blows across the left lobe, does it whistle?”
“Not really,” John shot back. “But I can now write off my hair styling as a medical expense.”