Are men obsolete?

Well men, we’ve had the biscuit. Done. Kaput. We’re obsolete. We may be wanted but soon we won’t be needed.

First a little background.

For hundreds of centuries, two genders had to be in intimate contact for reproduction. Men were the hunters and warriors. Women tended the hearth and nurtured the kids.

Looking after the kids was (and is) a vital task. No kids, no future.

That arrangement had its ups and downs but it worked pretty well until the 1960s. Then “The Pill” arrived. Everything changed. Inter-gender intimacy was possible without reproduction. Having offspring became a matter of choice.

Fertility rates plunged. Baby making was deferred. Women switched to careers away from the hearth. Technology and changing values already had obsoleted men’s hunter and warrior powers.

At work, thinking power replaced muscle power.

Do you know Louise Brown? When she was born in 1978, men took another step toward the abyss. Life for Louise began in a lab petri dish. As well as Louise, in vitro fertilization was born.

In the lab, sperm is added to a woman’s egg. Whose sperm doesn’t really matter as long as it’s healthy. No inter-gender intimacy is needed for reproduction. Once the embryo forms, it’s put into a women’s womb.

Guys, see how essential that nurturing role is?

Since 1978, in vitro fertilization has flourished. Now there’s a market for sperm donors, rent-a-womb, and renewing aged wombs. A sperm donation from Halifax can be used with an egg from Vancouver, nurtured in a womb in Regina, and the baby given to a couple in Rainy River.

But that’s not the end, men.

On July 5, 1996 at 5 p.m., the world tilted again. Dolly was born. With that we became truly obsolete. Here’s what happened. In the search for animals that produce medicines in their milk, Scottish scientists cloned a sheep.

Cloning had been done before but not like this. This time, a cell from an adult sheep’s udder was starved, bathed in a special protein, and zapped with electricity. That awakened the cell. That single cell then had the ability to grow to an exact replica of the mom.

Initially, the awakened cell multiplied in a petri dish. Later, the cells were nurtured in the womb of a sheep. No sexes, no intimacy, only reproduction and nurturing. See where that’s taking us, gents?

Did you know that the sperm count is dropping? Is that another application of the use-it-or-lose-it principle? Maybe men have some cosmic intelligence that says don’t-make it-if-they don’t-take-it.

Or maybe humans are closer to the wolves than we admit. In a wolf pack, only the alpha pair breed.

Could those Scottish scientists be the forerunners of a human alpha pair?

Maybe that’s why there are so many couch potatoes. If the use of the couch has been relegated to watching others perform on TV, what’s a guy to do?