Look who is back

It’s vacation time and Rainy River is full of family members that haven’t been back for years. They clutter the tables at the Bakery and some even have the nerve to crowd their way into the debating table. No decorum whatsoever. But honestly it’s great to see so many coming back.

“Why Moose, I haven’t seen you since we raced the cops in from Sleeman in that souped up Olds,” enthused one old acquaintance as he slapped Moose heartily on the back knocking off his hat in the process.

“What happened to your hair?” he added in surprise shielding his eyes from the glare reflecting off Moose’s chrome dome.

We’ve had some other families visiting this week as well. At first we thought it was just Onion Head raiding town gardens, but then the depredation took a nasty turn when not only the apple trees but also the garbage bins were destroyed. Seems the bears are also having family reunions.

On the plus side, all those pedestrians out walking the trails are moving quick and looking alert.

One bear spent the better part of the day sitting under Len’s crabapple cleaning up the windfalls and stripping the lower branches of fruit.

“Might as let him clean them up or I’ll have to do it myself,” thought Len as he observed the bear eat greedily for a few minutes, then settle back for a snooze.

On awakening a half hour later, before sitting up to the table, it would saunter into the middle of the lawn and take a good dump.

By the end of the day, it had cleaned up the windfalls and left a massive pile of processed apples in the middle of the lawn.

Len observed the situation and every ready to take a labour saving approach wheeled out his riding mower. At full power he charged at the pile determined to spread this free fertilizer bonanza onto the potato patch.

“Roarrr! Whomppp! Sputter! Cough! Silence,” as the mower was killed dead.

You’d think fresh bear poop would mulch and spread easily, but this batch had a super glue consistency, totally plugging up the mower deck.

“Probably wrecked the drive belts as well,” fumed Len as he pulled out the hose and assorted shovels and bars to pry the poop loose. One dirty job!

On finishing the job he retired to the house for a cold wobbly pop.

Emerging onto the deck he was just in time to see the bear sauntering off towards the bush after having made a final deposit right on top of the tools Len had left laying by the mower.

Maybe Len will try potatoes in that spot next year.