I’m writing this on Easter Weekend. Traditionally a time of renewal in our society no matter your personal and political beliefs…. and there’s quite a variation in that area. Let’s look at a few of them across our continent.
“The weather on Good Friday will be the forecast for the next 40 days” is a widely heard prognosis oft repeated by the farming community to explain the good/bad seasonal weather without any proof… just convenient memories to support this gem of wisdom. Thankfully it is bright and sunny in Rainy River today with the promise of the start of our first major thaw. I expect to have those tomatoes in the garden by early next week. Toasted sandwiches with tomatoes fresh from the garden by the end of May… mark that down in your diary.
“The ice on the Lake is still lots thick enough for another week of ice fishing!” The final fishing trip of the season could well involve boats and grappling hooks fishing for submariner snow machines. Perhaps those toys should be equipped with air bags so they automatically resurface.
“Guns don’t kill people. It’s the criminals that kill people”, a conundrum Florida, the Sunshine State, is addressing by allowing “concealed carry” without a permit! Absolutely brilliant! And that State’s Governor, has aspirations to become the next president of the U.S.
This will do wonders for court systems. Don’t waste resources on trials and juries. Fender bender? Jay walking? “I just don’t like you”? Fine! A shoot-out on the spot! All involved dead! Think of the money saved. Look at the economic activity generated… a boom in firearms and ammo. Yes the saviour of the American economy and way of life.
Maybe I got rid of my firearms too soon?
As I pondered the coming spring and the blizzard raging outside the other morning, I was aroused from my dazed barely awake state by, “Elliott, make another pot of coffee”. The directive I received was from the Debating Table at the Bakery in Rainy River. So I did. I emptied the grounds from the basket, put a fresh one in, put it on the brewmaster, and pushed the ‘brew’ button. I sat down and spirited conversation on the brilliance of federal, provincial and municipal politicians that had been in full rage moments earlier resumed with some gusto.
“Do you hear something running?” broke in Rick looking over his shoulder at the slushy machine that was grinding away.
“I don’t hear a thing!” replied Gary,… honestly since he’s deaf as a post.
“I wonder if Cookie has put my toast on?” I wondered peering wistfully towards the kitchen where mysterious operations involving donuts, chocolate coated longjohns, and delightful sticky cinnamon buns were underway in a concerted effort to add to the self inflicted diabetes epidemic virulent across our society.
“Holy crap! Look at that! Elliott, you forgot to put an empty pot on the coffee machine!” exclaimed Gary jumping to his feet and rushing too late to fully correct this oversight, while better than half the potfull spread in a tsunami across the counter and cascaded onto the floor.
“It’s both your fault. Lack of proper supervision! You know my memory is faulty! And your wild tales of government incompetence distracted me!” I explained as I watched Gary mop and Rick dance around the puddle vainly attempting to keep the flood from spreading under the counter.
Gary and Rick did a fair job of cleaning up the disaster. Rick put on another pot of coffee.
Note to self: “1st Empty Pot! 2nd Push Brew Button!”
I waited patiently for my toast.
