Paige Desmond
Holiday cheer. Family gatherings. Furious shopping sprees, and meals to rival the best restaurant buffet.
In a word: Christmas.
People prepare for this time of year as though they were training for a marathon. Hours are put into cooking, baking, cleaning, shopping, and many other “Christmas” activities.
But not everyone has a family to spend Christmas with, some are reminded of those they have lost, and still others simply cannot afford to buy into the seasonal spectacle.
In fact, instead of dreaming of a white Christmas, many will be experiencing a blue one as the stress of the season simply is too much to handle.
“We kind of let things get out of control,” explained Nancy Daley, with the Fort Frances branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association.
“The Christmas season affects everyone,” she remarked. “Both in a positive, hopeful way as well as in a disparaging way.”
Daley said for everyone, but particularly those with mental health issues, the stress of the season can be even more disheartening and difficult to navigate. It’s also a trying time for those who may be disconnected from family.
“Many people don’t have friends or family around,” she noted. “There are many people who have lost touch with their families.
“We always worry about what our clients are going to do,” she admitted.
One activity during the Christmas season which is meant to honour the memory of departed loved ones, as well as provide some time for quiet reflection, is the annual “Longest Night” service, which is scheduled for this Sunday (Dec. 14) at 7 p.m. at Knox United Church here.
Rev. Barb Miller calls the evening “a service that is an opportunity for people to express their grief or sorrow while proclaiming the love of God.”
“It’s a quiet, reflective service,” she described. “It honours our sorrow and acknowledges our grief.”
Though it is a Christian service, everyone is welcome to attend the free event, which has been held for more than 20 years.
“I think that there would be healing for anyone that’s struggling,” Rev. Miller remarked.
Whether the worry is economic, loss, illness, or just the need for some quiet time, Rev. Miller described the evening as a time “to be true to how you’re feeling.”
“There’s more sorrow about people who aren’t here at the holidays,” she said.
And though the evening may emphasize remembrance, the “Longest Night” also presents the opportunity for all to take a moment away from the holiday pressure.
Daley said people generally put too much pressure on themselves to create the “perfect” Christmas—and don’t take the time to enjoy it.
“We want to be able to give to others, to share, and to be included,” she explained. “You feel like everything should be like it is in the movies.”
So while we struggle to achieve a holiday which is far from reality, those who have pre-existing mental health issues are more likely to find an intensity to their problems.
According to statistics, Daley said 77 percent of people who suffer from anxiety or depression say symptoms worsen or return during the holidays.
But, there are some ways to lessen the stress this season and, ultimately, get more out of it, she noted.
For those who might not have family around, volunteer in the community. Daley cited the annual community Christmas dinner on Dec. 25 as a great way to enjoy the holiday while giving to others in a non-monetary way.
“It provides them with opportunities to help others, and it’s a social time,” she said.
Daley suggested going to a home for seniors for the day and visiting as another fun way to spend some time with others. For those who know someone who is alone for the holidays, show some holiday goodwill and invite them to your gathering.
Sticking to routine sleep and exercise habits, and skipping on the overindulgence of both food, alcohol, and spending, can help to stave off negativity, as well.
“We live in a world of overindulgence,” declared Daley.
At the same time, she said “not getting enough sunlight is a big one” on the list of stress factors. She recommends getting outside for at least an hour every day to get some exercise and some natural light—both of which will improve the spirit.
It is also important to plan.
“Know what your expectations are,” Daley advised, adding it is a good idea to ask yourself how you want to spend your time.
“Create your own expectations,” as opposed to adopting over-the-top views of what the season should be, she added. Set priorities and eliminate activities that don’t fit.
For instance, dividing tasks around the house, such as cooking, cleaning, and gift-wrapping, takes the burden off one family member and gets everyone involved.
Making time for yourself to relax also can ease tensions while attending different cultural events during the holiday season makes for family time and new experiences.
Most importantly, Daley said it’s okay not to feel holiday cheer all the time.
“It’s okay to feel what you feel,” she stressed, adding that keeping up a chipper facade in December can be exhausting.
If you’re feeling less than cheery, don’t question, “What’s wrong with me, why aren’t I happy?” said Daley. “It’s a hard time for everybody.”
