Christina Hahkala
When someone is experiencing symptoms of a serious mental illness, it can be very stressful for family members and friends.
It is natural for a person’s family to be scared and confused, and not know where to turn. You even may be mourning for your family member with all the changes they are going through.
Or you may be exhausted from trying to help your family member—sacrificing your own needs.
It also is common for family members to feel fearful about the future and not knowing what it holds and what will happen. Well, rest assured you are not alone and there is hope.
It sometimes can take people a long time to realize how physically and emotionally worn out they have become. The build-up of stress can lead to sleeping problems or feeling tired and irritable all the time, just to name a few signs.
If you experience any of these signs, don’t despair. Seeing the signs is the first step to looking after you. The next is finding your own limits and making time for yourself—and not feeling guilty about it.
Caring for your own needs starts with creating a support network of family, friends, and maybe a counsellor. Call on the people you can rely on and who will be there when you need to vent.
Understanding mental health problems can be hard for some people to understand if they have not made themselves educated. It also can be very helpful to connect with someone who has gone, or is going, through the same experience. Sharing thoughts and stories can be very therapeutic.
If you are receiving support from another family, make sure you focus on the needs of the other family, as well. Know that you are not alone.
Sometimes when caring for someone with a mental illness, it can take a lot energy, balance, and hard work. There may be a huge change in your schedules, making and keeping doctor appointments, and more. The emotional drain may take a toll on us.
It is very important to schedule time for your self even if you think it is not important.
Here are some tips for taking care of you:
•Call a friend;
•Go for a long walk;
•Have a long hot bubble bath;
•Read a favourite book;
•Listen to music or watch a TV show that you haven’t seen in a while;
•Be good to yourself;
•Keeping good health is crucial, to you and your entire family;
•Let go of shame and guilt (try to take comfort and gain strength from the positive things your family has experienced together);
•Do not neglect other children;
•Learn from and enjoy support from others who have similar problems; and
•Join education or support groups.
You can get information on mental health issues from family support programs, the Canadian Mental Health Association, hospitals, the Schizophrenia Society of Canada, Mood Disorders, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, and many others.
Editor’s note: Christina Hahkala is a Family Liaison Worker with the Can-Help Program at the local branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association.
