I recently saw an old clip from the Dick Cavett show in 1972, 50 plus years ago. It kept popping up on social media, so I assumed it wanted my attention. I watched it several times, to reacquaint myself with the importance of the message in Lily Tomlin’s significant act of defiance, which she carried out with grace and without anger; she simply drew a line in the sand.
You may be familiar with the episode of which I am speaking. Chad Everett, of the popular show “Medical Center” was also a guest on that day in March of 1972, his appearance following Lily Tomlin. He was describing his ranch and the animals he had, and he included his wife, as “the most beautiful of all the animals he owned”.
Lily turned and looked at him in disbelief saying, “You own?” and then, without waiting for an answer, declared she had to go and quietly walked off the set. Everett was puzzled at her departure, commenting that Lily’s action was “disturbing”. He found her action disturbed him, but the crowd was noticeably disturbed by his words, their uncomfortable and feeble laughter as evidence. Cavett wasn’t sure if Lily was making fun or not. She wasn’t. I know we’ve come a long way in 50 years, but some days it doesn’t feel like it.
I watched the entire Cavett episode. Cavett asked Lily to tell him a bit about herself. She was searching for words, as only Lily Tomlin can. I used to think her fumbling sentences were part of her humour, but I think that’s how her brain works, and it makes me laugh every single time.
Cavett suggested that Lily had been a “tomboy” as a child and asked if she would agree with that assumption. Her response was that she wasn’t sure what that word even meant. Cavett went on to explain that it meant she was a girl who could hit a baseball, for example. Of course, said with loud sarcasm, girls aren’t adept at hitting baseballs or hockey pucks or throwing basketballs or fishing or building things or running a chainsaw or… my disgust was armed and loaded and, it got me thinking.
“Tomboy” was a descriptor placed on me for most of my childhood and perhaps beyond. I would imagine that most girls who grew up on a farm would be characterized in that way, though not limited to farm girls. I did some deep diving into the term tomboy and found some interesting facts. The term has been in use since the 1500s, originally referring to a boy who was rude or boisterous. The term later evolved to describe a girl who was spirited and outspoken, as per the 1533 Oxford Dictionary of English. By 1600, the term meant a wild, romping girl. Interesting. I think I would rather have been called a wild romping girl than a tomboy. Tomboy merely implies a “boy wannabe”.
There are some who have asserted that the general population has lost its sense of humour. I think it can be more accurately described we are now more aware of how words can do harm, when we single someone out with a title that tells them they don’t belong. I think of the words I heard growing up in Fort Frances in reference to the different ethnic groups, words we thankfully no longer use. We are evolving, thank goodness, though it is not a destination but an unending endeavour.
Back to Lily Tomlin. She instinctively knew that nothing she could say would alter Everett’s pompous view of himself and his “possessions”, but she did not need to sit there and listen to him. Sometimes the most powerful reaction is to hold up your hand and say “enough”. Often, behaviour of that sort is passed off as humour, and we are meant to let it go as such. “I was just kidding,” becomes our excuse when we realize we were being offensive, when an apology would be the preference.
