For many families, dinnertime can feel like a negotiation of one more bite, one more vegetable, one more attempt at something new.
But nutrition experts say many of the behaviours parents label as “picky eating” are not only common, they’re developmentally normal.
Caroline Le Clair, a registered dietitian with the Interlake-Eastern Regional Health Authority, says concerns about selective eating are among the most frequent questions she hears from parents and caregivers.
“A lot of what we see is part of typical child development,” she said. “Kids are learning independence. Their taste buds are changing. They’re figuring out their likes and dislikes.”
Le Clair encourages families to move away from calling children “picky eaters,” warning that labels can stick.
“Once you label somebody as something, they start to own it,” she said. “We try to say, ‘You don’t like it yet.’ That small change in language can take a lot of pressure off.”
Toddlers, in particular, are wired to assert independence. Resistance at the table may have less to do with food itself and more to do with control. At the same time, children’s taste perception differs from adults, especially when it comes to bitter flavours, which can taste stronger to young palates.
Another factor is “food neophobia,” a natural hesitation around unfamiliar foods. Pressuring children to try something new can intensify that fear response rather than reduce it.
“If we’re saying, ‘Just try it, just two bites,’ it can actually make it harder,” Le Clair said. “It’s better to offer new foods alongside familiar ones and allow them to explore without pressure.”
Research suggests children may need to be exposed to a new food many times (sometimes 20 or more) before accepting it. Simply seeing the food on the table, touching it or smelling it counts as exposure.
Le Clair also points to the “division of responsibility” approach to feeding, developed by U.S. dietitian Ellen Satter. Under that model, parents decide what food is offered, as well as when and where meals are served. Children decide whether to eat and how much.
“That helps kids learn their hunger and fullness cues,” she said. “When we pressure them to eat past fullness, it can interfere with that and create negative associations with food.”
The approach shifts the focus away from clean plates and toward building long-term confidence and competence around food. Experts say creating a neutral, judgment-free environment and avoiding terms like “good” and “bad” foods can help children develop a healthier relationship with eating into adulthood.
Le Clair notes that while some feeding challenges require clinical support, most phases of selective eating are temporary. Looking at what a child eats over the course of a week, rather than at a single meal, can also help parents gain perspective.
“If they’re growing, developing and eating a variety over time, they’re likely doing OK,” she said.
For families who want to explore the topic further, the Interlake-Eastern Regional Health Authority is hosting a virtual session titled “Feeding Children (Ages 1–12): How to Have Pleasant Mealtimes” on Feb. 26 from 10 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Registration is available by emailing wellness@ierha.ca.
