I have stumbled upon the perfect solution to an issue in my life. I didn’t come up with this on my own; it is a borrowed idea, and it’s a brilliant one – a support animal. There are many on the list of animals who offer emotional support, the most common being dogs. Cats are on the list even though they tend to be self-absorbed. Llamas and birds, including chickens, are on the list. A hen would be ideal, offering eggs for breakfast while supporting, with her gentle clucking and soft smooth feathers. Guinea pigs, rabbits, hamsters, miniature horses and even pigs round out the options.
What I need is an emotional support extrovert. The world is teeming with extroverts; they are everywhere, doing all the talking, making all the decisions, telling us what to wear and what to buy and how to vote… while quiet introverts are petting the dogs and planning our escape from social scenes.
I make myself go to community gatherings, on occasion. Sometimes it takes considerable effort to pry myself from the house. Potlucks are the easiest, where extroverts place their food on the counter and then get right to the business of gabbing. That’s where I step in – serving, cleaning up, washing dishes, gathering garbage with absolutely no need to engage in conversation. I can then make my exit and hardly a single extrovert notices and the host is grateful I came; a win-win. It’s a well-choregraphed dance. Sadly, not every gathering involves bringing food, so having an extrovert tag along to engage in the chitchat would leave me free to notice things, and pet the dog, of course.
I have no small-talk gene, like most introverts. I can’t even blather on about the weather. Did it rain yesterday, was it windy? Ask me a question and my mind goes blank, my mouth dropping open while I struggle to remember my name. I’m reasonably adept at faking it. You know the proverb about giving a man a fish vs teaching a man to fish, well it’s a bit like that. Ask an extrovert a question and an introvert never has to say another word; listening is a superpower.
Introverts are often misunderstood. It is assumed we are shy or fearful, are antisocial or lack self-confidence. Some of those qualities may exist but that isn’t what makes us introverts. Our internal battery is recharged by spending time alone, by existing in low-stimulation environments. I enjoy being in a noisy crowded room about as much as anyone would enjoy a root canal.
Introverts are said to “think before they speak.” Judging by my mother’s regular complaint about not engaging my brain before I opened my mouth, I’m guessing that wasn’t the case for me. My introvert daughter Samantha was the same as a child – if she had a thought, she shared it. The beauty is her thoughts were hilarious without her realizing it and that’s the funniest kind of funny. If she wanted to share the story of a book she read or a dream or a movie, she did just that… every single detail while barely pausing for a breath. You could walk away but she was walking with you until she was finished. Her sisters thought this was a flaw, while I thought it deliciously entertaining.
While extroverts are effortlessly engaged in conversation, introverts notice body language; they read the room. Introverts notice who is wringing their hands and whose shoulders are up tight against their ears and who is rubbing a sore knee and who is pushing on their cheek to double-check if their tooth still hurts. Introverts notice matching socks or not, soles of shoes worn more on the inside indicating a higher degree of pronation.
Introverts are often given a bad rap, interpreting their preference for solitude as rudeness. The animal kingdom, which includes you and me, is filled with diversity and is needed to keep things in balance. I refer you to the restoration of Yellowstone National Park where the grey wolf was re-introduced in 1995 after an absence of nearly seventy years that saw the park fall into ecological decline. The wolves restored the balance by controlling the size of elk herds which in turn helped regenerate the flora, which also positively impacted the aquatic ecosystems. I’m not suggesting the grey wolf is an introvert, they run in packs, but I do mean to say we need all types. Perhaps we should re-introduce a few introverts into all levels of government to restore the balance. In the meantime, I’ll check the grocery store bulletin board to see if any extroverts are looking for work. There’s a neighbourhood bonfire coming up; no food required. I’m going to need an extrovert for support if I decide to attend.
wendistewart@live.ca
