With heavy hearts and much sadness, the family of Valerie Lynne Calder announce her passing on the evening of July 18, 2024, at La Verendrye Hospital. Val/Mom/Gram was surrounded in love by family and holding Dad’s hand.
Val was born in Fort Frances on October 18, 1940, and lived her entire life here. Her Anderson heritage meant so much to her and she spoke highly of growing up in McIrvine and the memories made there. She loved driving the streets and pointing out her childhood home and talking about the night she was sleep walking and how far down the road she’d gotten before her Mom scooped her back in. She talked about neighbours and the kindness shared.
Val was predeceased by her parents Rudy and Sarah Anderson; step-mother Selma Anderson; sister Bella-Mae Noble; in-laws Wardy (Ed) and Marg Calder; brother Wes Anderson; nephew Rudy Anderson; Aunt Babe (Muriel Pearson); cousin Sherryn Pearson; and precious grandson William Moody.
Mom/Gram Val is survived by husband Ray; children Pat (Ken) Cupp, Kelly Calder, her one and only most favourite son, who remained her sweet boy forever, Ray (Lisa) Calder and Susan (Mike) Carmody; her grandchildren Jason (Laura), Sarah (Chris), Ashley, Cody (Nadou), Jesse (Natalie), Amy (Ryan), Cara (Kyle), and Ray; and great-grandchildren Olivia, Jonas, Cooper and Amelia; numerous nieces and nephews and extended family; the love and laughter she shared with each one of us will live in our hearts forever.
She was a young girl when one summer, she was swept off her feet by Ray, her loving and caring husband of 68 wonderful years together. She was so proud to join Dad’s family and become a Calder and with the cherished friendship of Auntie Babe and Gram Marg, these worlds easily came together and became one.
Married June 30, 1956, Ray and Val took each other’s hands and began a life together that they only dreamed of. These dreams came true as they built their home together, ensuring she had a sidewalk wide enough for the baby carriage that held sweet Susan.
Staying home until sweet little Suzie was at school, Val was a caring foster mom and friend to children in need, these relationships lasted years and we still hear the stories of how she impacted their lives.
Becoming a nurse was her dream, to care for those in times of need was absolutely her calling. While in training, home life never changed. Her delicious meals were on the table, laundry done, helping us with homework while completing her own, baths all done and kids tucked in; Mom managed to do it all and graduated with her RPN on June 7, 1974. One of her fondest memories was being chosen by her fellow graduates to be Valedictorian. She was so nervous but of course rose to the occasion.
Mom was such a proud scholar, she never stopped learning and having her RPN diploma wasn’t quite enough and so in 1986 she proudly walked down the aisle of Fort Frances High School and received her Grade 12 diploma.
Life for Mom and Dad truly centered around Phair Avenue and Third Street East where extended families lived and lifelong friends were made. The home parties, babies born, birthday clubs, Avon/Tupperware parties, bingos, ceramics and garage sales, these are the days that made Mom. She was so grateful for the women of Phair and Third and kept these friendships for life. No doubt they will be catching up and laughing.
Mom and Dad loved the traditional Christmas Calder Rounds, walking and singing down the middle of the streets, home to home to celebrate family.
Mom and dad played together on baseball teams, curling, bowling, broomball and always took part in any activities up at the Point. Winning the wheelbarrow race was one of Mom’s favourite memories. The Mando parties and days of Fun in the Sun at the Elks Hall were just some of the times she loved.
Mom was always busy, she made our dresses, mended our denims and created a special quilt for each grandchild tailored specifically to them. She also loved anything new, from the newest shade of lipstick to the latest cocktail her grandchildren introduced her to. When Mom came home and told Dad one of her friends had this new ‘whatever,’ he would literally put his head in his hands knowing she’d have to have one too. Mom was extremely hometown proud, going to a Fort High Musical was just like going to a Vegas show for Mom. She volunteered for Meals on Wheels, canvassed for multiple organizations, the annual Music and Drama festival and much more.
Mom was not a woman of vanity, BUT leaving the house without eyebrows was not an option. She was so funny about this and it was never so evident as when she forgot her eyebrows on their honeymoon and had to stay in the room the whole time. Also when she was being carried into the hospital in labor and mad because she didn’t get to put them on. Mom never wavered in this through her whole life, hopefully heaven has eyebrow pencils too.
Mom and Dad loved to travel and took advantage of their healthy years by doing so, from B.C. to Newfoundland, Europe, and the United States. She was a real historian and loved learning about communities they drove through, stopping to talk to the people and she would come back to Dad telling the life stories of people she just met. Road trips were a favourite too and what should’ve taken six hours would normally take an extra day because she would ask Dad to stop so much to learn and absorb each step of the way. They loved stopping and just admiring the world around them, never taking for granted that they were doing this together, hand in hand.
Mom enjoyed so much, she loved her Toronto Blue Jays, Viking and, of course, the Toronto Maple Leafs. She cheered them on loud and proud and could tell you the standing and players, always having her favourite. She always hoped for Canada, but Sweden was next in line. It was too funny when they played each other and she would get nervous. But no cheer for Mom was louder than the cheer she had when attending her kids and grandkids activities. Having Mom/Gram in the stand was like having your own special section, she was so proud of us all.
Mom loved all music, especially country and gospel, but her favourite voice to listen to was Pat’s. She loved to listen to her sing and was always making requests.
Mom and Kelly loved spending time in the kitchen. Who was teaching who is undetermined, but love and laughter always created something scrumptious.
In 1974, Mom and Dad decided to build their very own heaven on earth and bought a lot at Crowrock Inlet. Side by side they hammered every nail together, watched every wall go up and shared 44 years of pure bliss with family and friends. It wasn’t uncommon to find Mom up on scaffolding that Grampa Wardy built for her and then later covered in mud at the bottom of the hill planting her flowers. She loved being in the boat, fishing and gathering down at the dock. Their cabin was the gathering cabin with hours of card games, 31 and Frustration and never ending grilled cheese sandwiches and pancakes. She was just the best Gram, she loved her grandchildren napping on her chest, all warm and safe. She could pat their backs forever. She loved spending quiet times with them, trivia games, reading, drawing, hangman, hours of X ‘n O’s and talking. She could listen to them ramble off their day, ideas, dreams and whatever they wanted to say forever. She was so proud of each of them.
Mom still had coffee group gatherings right up to the end. She loved these afternoons and Dad would always get her there. When at her house, he always made freshly baked treats and fresh coffee. He would clean and lay everything out and leave. She was so proud of him doing this for her. It meant the world to her to continue to welcome her friends in her home and Dad always ensured this happened.
Mom was born with faith. It was as much a part of her as the hands she prayed with. Whether it was with her fellow worshippers or time spent one on one, her life was lead by faith. She wasn’t scared to pass because she knew she would be welcomed by those before her and that she will be waiting with open arms to welcome all when that time comes.
We found Mom’s thank you speech she gave at her nursing retirement dinner. This is part of that speech written in her hand:
“As we grow older we realize that each new day is a blessing. I feel I’m very lucky, I have a husband who loves me and has been very patient… he’s been retired for 9 years and wants me around more – I have 4 great kids who love me dearly and grandchildren who think I’m just super. I also have the 2 best sons-in-law, Ken and Mike and a wonderful daughter in law Lisa. Really now, what is more important than that?”
Please join us for a celebration of life on Thursday, August 1, 2024, from 1:00 – 4:00 p.m. at La Place Rendezvous.
In memory or in lieu of flowers donations may be made to The Tamarack House of Thunder Bay at healthsciencesfoundation.ca or by mail to Tbaytel Tamarack House, 9800 Oliver Road, Thunder Bay, Ont., P7B 6V4, or to Riverside Health Care facilities.
Arrangements entrusted to Northridge Funeral Home Ltd., Emo, Ontario.
