Ziggy was moving kind of slow the other morning as he limped up to the Debating Table at the Bakery in Rainy River.
“Haven’t got that new hip scheduled yet?” I inquired as we all held out our cups for a refill. Ziggy obliged and the put on another pot and tripped the brew switch. There are protocols at the Bakery that must be followed which includes pouring refills without being asked and making sure an empty pot is never put back on the burner without setting up the next brew. Maury used to try avoiding this routine but got back in line after he was ostracized for a couple of weeks.
Finally settled in his chair with a full cup and his toast ordered, Ziggy settled back and started his tale.
“Had to go help the Katzenjammer Kids with a heifer that was having a difficult time calving. Just about finished this bum hip for good. But by the time I got there the calf was on the ground. Still they decided to run them into the barn for a couple of days to make sure everything was OK.”
“Big Al and Dave finally out ran the beast with the tractor and a four-wheeler and herded them into the pen. That heifer was a little rangy but Dave decided to check on the sex of the calf while I closed the gate and Big Al supervised from the tractor cab,” continued Ziggy as he paused and concentrated on the spread…peanut butter and jam.
“That heifer let out a beller and charged. Dave turned and ran…sort of. When the heifer made contact, Dave, his rubber boots, and sweat pants, all became airborne, then landed is separate heaps,” Ziggy then paused and inhaled a slice of toast.
“Dave made it onto all fours and tried escaping across the pen, bootless, pantless and bare-butted.
Kinda looked like an old bear charging out of the garbage dump. The heifer let out another beller and closed in sending Dave smack into the gate,” he added, hesitating just a moment to lick some stray jam off his whiskers.
“Bloodied and dazed, Dave made it back onto all fours and scrambled through the gate. I slammed it shut, cutting off further attack. Big Al was going to get out of the tractor cab to see if Dave was okay, but he was laughing too hard to dismount,” said Ziggy as he finished off his last piece of toast and held out his cup for a refill.
“I’m going to get Kim Jo, that Moos from the Herd expert over there to see if she couldn’t do a little training to get those animals a bit more civilized,” added Ziggy wrapping up his tale. (For you city folks that don’t know where your food comes from… it isn’t built in the backroom at Safeway… perhaps you could read Moos from the Herd right here in the Times to edify yourselves.)
“You think Kim Jo could train those cattle to be more civilized and no so rangy?” I wondered aloud as I made the round with the coffee pot.
“Oh no, not the cattle!… Big Al and Dave!” snorted Ziggy.
