Peggy Revell
Two local youths have stepped up, alongside other young men from across the province, to serve as mentors and role models to help break the cycle of violence against women.
“The title of the program is Kizhaay Anishinaabe Niin, which in translation is “I am a kind man,” explained Peggy Loyie, the Aboriginal Healing and Wellness co-ordinator at the United Native Friendship Centre here.
“It’s pretty much about talking to young male audiences about how it’s not right to abuse a woman in a relationship, and how to have a healthy and equal relationship,” explained Jesse Ranville, 17, who was chosen to be the local role model for the program.
The “I am a Kind Man” program, launched by the Ontario Federation of Indian Friendship Centres, was modelled after the White Ribbon Campaign that first began in 1991 as a way for men to speak out against violence against women.
While originally designed for working with adult men, the OFIFC has now expanded “I am a Kind Man” into a youth program—training young men from communities across the province to become mentors and role models.
The program is based around the Seven Grandfather Teachings, noted Loyie, which include wisdom, love, respect, bravery, honesty, humility, and truth.
“And so those are the teachings that are meant to guide us in how we live day-to-day, and how we treat each other,” she remarked.
“In using these teachings then, there wouldn’t be violence,” Loyie continued. “But we’ve come to this point as Anishinaabe people, where a lot of our children are growing up in lives that are just inundated and surrounded with either violence and/or substance abuse growing up.”
“And we’re trying to break that cycle.”
“There’s a lot more abuse than I thought there was in our community,” Ranville admitted when talking about what he’s learned so far from the experience. “Just because I never grew up seeing anyone being abused.
“But I realize that there are a lot more people that are in homes, and broken homes, like that,” she added. “I didn’t realize that it was that much of a deal.”
“What I learned more was about the Seven Grandfather teachings and how to live more by them,” noted Brad Fyfe, 18, who was chosen to be the youth mentor for the program.
“I never really understood them, but now I realize how they can play a role in your life and how much you can make a difference with the youth by what we were taught with the training.”
Both Fyfe and Ranville attended a training conference last month in North Bay. Now that they’ve returned to the area, there are plans to start spreading the message.
“We’re committed to be doing at least four presentations in our communities and surrounding areas,” said Loyie, noting the first presentation will be at Stanjikoming First Nation this Saturday (Nov. 29).
The day will open with a prayer by an elder, explained Fyfe, followed by introductions about the program and themselves. They then will go over the Seven Grandfather Teachings, followed by activities to that will help youth know how to identify different types of abuse.
Group activities, such as ones done at the training sessions, also will be used.
Loyie said they’re currently discussing locations for future presentations after the one at Stanjikoming that would best target youth, such as at the Seven Generations Educational Institute’s alternative high school program, the UNFC’s alternative education program, Weechi-it-te-win Training and Learning Centre, and more First Nation communities.
They even hope to make a presentation in Atikokan for the youth program there, Loyie added.
“We need to start working with youth, and paying attention to them and giving them these messages early on, so that we really truly are working on breaking that cycle,” she stressed.
“They’re going to jump off of that, and start building their life using those teachings and treating each other respectfully and equally like we were meant to do.”
Participating in the program not only has given Ranville and Fyfe the tools to deliver the message to other youths, but also help them recognize how to deal with situations of abuse they may encounter in their own life, noted Loyie.
It’s about having young people grow up and have a future without abuse and violence, said Ranville. “You want to have a good relationship, you don’t want to have your kids to see what other people went through,” he noted. “You want them to have a great life.”
With males more likely to be the perpetrators of violence, having this anti-violence message delivered by males to other males makes it a stronger and more meaningful one, Loyie explained.
“I really have a lot of respect for these two guys,” she remarked, noting it can take a lot for young males to become involved with projects like this—and step away from how young males often are perceived.
“So I really commend these two guys for stepping up and saying, ‘We’re willing to do this, we’re willing to take that message,’ because that’s huge,” Loyie stressed.
“At first it was kind of overwhelming, it’s taking a big role for me,” said Ranville.
“For me, too, it was pretty overwhelming when we got there because it was a lot to take in, all the workshops,” echoed Fyfe.
“But now it’s kind of exciting. I’m kind of anxious to get into it and start teaching my own community members about all this abuse and what they can do to stop it, and where they can go if they need help.”
