New section added to union contracts

Staff

The federal government is negotiating adding a new “health” section to union contracts, effective in 2022. In trying to have a piecemeal approach to promoting healthy living, government officials are urging unions across Canada to meet and craft new sections.

In 2019, the Government of Canada released Canada’s updated Food Guide in order to promote healthy eating and overall nutrition well-being while supporting improvements to the Canadian food environment.

However, since that time national statistics suggest that 79.65 per cent of Canadians are eating out and not incorporating enough fruit and vegetables in their diets.

Therefore, in trying to address the risk of faltering health, the provincial government is trying to accommodate the newly assigned requirement by the federal government to take strict actions on addressing bad eating habits.

The new union section, called “Earn it and Eat it,” will have union workers getting partially paid in produce.

Three companies, “Cauliflower Headlings,” “Sprouting Sprouts” and “Asper Asparagus’ ‘ were of most prominence at the table, presenting their proposals and hoping the deal lands on them for supplying the healthy produce.

Dan Dozier, CEO of Sprouting Sprouts and Cal Orie of Cauliflower Headlings both gave strong arguments against their counterparts, arguing both brussel sprouts and cauliflower make good partners on a dinner table.

However, in a blistering rebuke, Bob Tearitz of Asper Asparagus, said there is no taste, not even a smell to a dinner table without the decorative and tasty nature of good fresh asparagus.

James McCuire,  President of WTH Union said the deal will land on the company that is able to provide at least 10 tons of a certain type of produce per year.

After agreeing to give the deal to Sprouting Sprouts,, Cauliflower Headlings and Sweet Onions, the tough turned to how the unions will actually pay workers in produce.

“The issue comes down now to the number of cauliflower heads per hour for the welders, and broccoli bunches for the electrical union,” McCuire said. “ In a stunning reversal, the negotiating company has given in on asparagus, agreeing to once bunch per hour, much to the chagrin of officials at Sprouting Sprouts who had pushed for more brussel sprouts in lieu of the more expensive asparagus.”

A sticking point came at brussels sprouts with the company holding firm at 6 per hour and the union asking for 8.

Dozier said although it might not seem like a big sacrifice bending backwards to the unions’ demand of 8 brussel sprouts per hour, they look at the bigger scheme.

“We’re not giving out candy,” Dozier said. “Two brussel sprouts really do make a difference.”

Union negotiators shed tears of joy when onions were successfully used as a bargaining chip.