Winter is over?

All my friends (I use that word loosely) at the Debating Table in the Bakery in Rainy River assured
me winter was over when I arrived back from the Red Neck Riviera in Florida in early March. They lied.

Here it is the end of March and the temp this morning was -14C… that’s about +7F for you Celcius
illiterates …. not summerlike by any stretch of the imagination.

This intemperate weather is a little more than inconvenient for yours truly. What do you mean you could care less about me being inconvenienced? How can I get out and report on community gossip….er I mean, happenings unless I am free to roll up and down the highways and bi-ways of the Rainy River District on my new Trike… you know the one with the bright, blinding, flashing red lights that are super visible so you have something to aim at. No? That’s okay. The 360 degree dash cam automatically uploads to a couple of traffic enforcement and Auto Insurance websites with details of your speed, road position, date time, and licence tag… crystal clear even through those deliberately dirty plates. Makes entertaining video on YouTube.

But I digress. I had expected open water on the river and a bountiful supply of fresh walleye.

However the ongoing ice conditions had hijacked talk of boats and bounteous catches to ones of ice huts and continuing snow sledding. Machine breakdowns, and tales of stranded riders and machines are epidemic. ‘JBWeld’ Pyechuk has spent maybe one day in the last month sledding, twenty days tearing down and rebuilding his sled…. repeatedly, and a full three days stranded on the trails as he can’t remember to charge or take his cell phone with him.

Pickle is on full time trail patrol and complaining mightily about the cost of rescue fuel and the enforced reduction in fishing time that causes. On the plus side it certainly eliminates the possibility of being caught with an over-limit of walleye.

Meanwhile the repair shops are rubbing their hands with glee as the cash registers at the parts counter play a merry tune.

But open water in the river has passed Hooterville and will soon be in Rainy as the last of the fish huts are pried loose from their icy prison. It has been suggested a 30-06 or a 357 Weatherby might be the right tool for blasting the runners free of their arctic grip. But please check so ensure the abode is not occupied before undertaking this operation. No banana clips, please. Elvis just back from a winter in Mexico might be out in an abandoned hut, snoozing as he becomes re-aclimatized. We wouldn’t want him “leaving the building”.

To my friends from the Riviera who were bragging about their extended stay through March in the sunny south. Sue, sorry to hear about that blizzard greeting you as you crossed the line into Michigan. And Yooper Reg, might as well stay until the end of April as the roads beyond the Mackinac will not be plowed until May.

Paybacks is a ***** and spring can’t be much more than a month away.