Hair design

On the street, social distancing is keeping me from getting up close and personal. All I see are folks across the road and as a matter of course; I always wave and shout a generic no-name “Hello.” It’s not that I’m particularly friendly… even though I am; it’s that my eyesight particularly without my glasses on just ain’t up to what it used to be. And besides everyone is hiding behind a face mask.
Then there’s the issue of my glasses themselves. My sunglasses are generally so badly scratched and smeared with grease as to be nearly opaque or at least so blurry that even were you within the two metre restraining distance, I might not recognize you.

So I just wave and shout. I don’t even add your name, because a: I don’t remember it, b: I will mistake your gender, or c: I am so far off in lala land, dreaming of a long forgotten order of hot, buttered, Red River toast lathered with peanut butter and jam, a brimming cup of coffee, and the cacophony of the Debating Table at the Bakery in Rainy River. . . Just about enough to make me swoon.

And then there are the hair styles, or lack thereof. Not only has hair length gotten out of hand making many unrecognizable, their ability to navigate the local pathways is a bit suspect. During this dearth of barbering services time to take the Nose approach and grow a ponytail.

Some however have their own home trimming service. My own clippers died a horrid death when I dropped them in the toilet. And the Pearl restricts her pleas to my lack of follicle management to insisting I fire up my nose and ear hair trimmers. I seem to have quite a crop of wild ones that need regular pruning. However, no Brazilian Bikini waxing for me in the nether regions.

And back hair. You’ve heard of Silver Back Gorillas. I remember a four year old granddaughter who had snuggled into bed with us early one morning wondering aloud, “Papa, how come you gots fur on your back?”

Quite a few others around Rainy seem particularly nervous about home barbering, remembering as kids having a bowl placed on their head and excess hair sticking out, cut off with the cow clippers. Many though now no longer have to worry as there’s not enough left on top to bother with. The MTO road report term “bare to centre bare” takes on a whole new meaning.

So with bright spring and summer weather soon upon us, relax and let those warm zephyrs stream your flowing locks out behind you. But remember your hat as there’s not enough up there to prevent sunburn.