Being sociable

So how is that social isolation going with all? I sure miss the Debating Table at the Bakery in Rainy River but still make it in once a week to pick up supplies and a couple of fritters. Added a package of Cinnamon Buns to the larder the other day as well.
Writing a humour column without the stimulation of the Debating Table crew can be a real challenge, but I can still remember quite a few things that should have happened. I even called the Runt the other day and inquired if he could come out to play. Rose’s response was an emphatic “No!”, but she did let me talk to him.
“I can’t even go fishing! My boat’s stuck at the other side of the muddy yard. And even if I could get it out, the launch ramp probably isn’t open,” whined the Runt. I might have been surprised but wasn’t as the Runt’s “new” boat rarely makes it into the river or to his dock. The excuses are legion: “Don’t want to get it dirty.” “To cold”, “Too hot”, “No bait”, “No gas”, “Battery is flat”, “Coffee time”, “Flat tire on Trailer”, “Can’t find trailer ball hitch”. . . Sound familiar?
I have been retreading some of my old Squirrel Pie epistles much to the delight of some and the disgust of others. Got a call the other morning.
“Hey, Jackie, How’s she going?” It was Leon DeLogger from Fat Frantic on the other end giggling at me in his usual good humour.
“Did that last column about shooting at the coyotes out the bedroom window actually happen?” he wondered, ready for the juicy details.
“Not really,” I confessed, “But it was inspired by the late Les Hoskins of Emu (home of some really strange birds). He used to regularly thin out the bears raiding his bee hives right from the bedroom without even sticking the muzzle all the way out the window. It is said his wife never sat up in bed for fear of becoming an innocent bystander.”
“So what you doing for excitement, Leon? Finding the social isolation providing you with a second honeymoon?” I quizzed, digging for a little new material.
“Well, that was okay at first, but at my age a man’s only got so much stamina,” confessed Leon with a sigh and added, “So I just ride my bike around the block a couple times.” Some things like riding a bike, you never forget how. Just 30 miles. . . or all night marathons now are out of the question.
We reminisced about old friends now passed, like Pipe Wrench Pete and Ole from Gullee and agreed we would have to meet at the Debating Table once this Social Distancing was done. Until then Leon. . . and others, see you in the paper.


Related